Am I becoming the me I was then…?
by Ed Matlack
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Having a down sort of day...sorry to unload on you, but just to write of this brings me back up ever so slightly...
Free was I in ‘99,
Able to take my time,
Though alone I was fine,
Empty inside, though life was seemingly sublime…
No love of another then,
No passion beyond self fulfillment,
No physical pain, though I was emotionally burned out,
I lived in general, basically without…
Then along came Rene,
First I’d seen her in many years,
She helped me from that day,
To close doors from my past,
To alleviate troubles & fears,
With each other we did stay…
Its been some 11 years,
Got past & shed a million tears,
Are we better for this time,
Or am I more depressed,
Have I more regressed,
Have I in some way changed,
How far from me in ‘99 have I ranged…
© ed ~ 8/21/10
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|Reviewed by m j hollingshead
|Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
|sweet writing-hang in there|
|Reviewed by John Coppolella
|The Carpenter's song, Yesterday Once More, comes to mind here. "When you get to the part, where he's breaking her heart, it can even make me cry, just like before, it's yesterday once more..."
I look at the words I wrote not so long ago, and think who is this person, not me!
Space flows through us all and we are constantly in flux, from within and without, verbally, physically, emotionally and certainly in all other ways, as your poem is a testimony to that fact. I am proud you had the wits about you to express the vagueness and strangeness of being a part of fluxing space that is you, forever caught up in the illusion of time. Don't lose ever your now! Its all we really have, the rest is mental holography.
Every moment there is a new you, a birthday every second, that is why the world can look fresh, as we see it for the first time again, with new eyes.
I feel your vibe in your words, Ed, across the ether. Thanks for sharing this gem!
|Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
|Evolution runs its course
Whether man or whether horse
The trails we choose have come to pass
Behavior on occasion the horse's ass
|Reviewed by Kate Burnside
|we are who we are and are a product of all that has got us this far, Ed. We treasure and feed off our memories, breaking them down as stepping stones for the future but also revisiting their origins from time to time. We often travel in circles, but I believe they are upwardly spiralling ones, no matter how downward the seeming track sometimes. Rene has been forever your rock. We all need someone to be! I am, like many people, going back to my "roots" in all ways, it seems, now I'm reaching my middle fifties: four decades trying to find out who I am, only to find I am who I started out as, as if that were any surprise. Hang in there on this bouncy castle of life: whether on the upward or downward part of the bounce, we know that our spirits will always be as india rubber and keep comin back for more, reaching up to touch the stars. You may be becoming your back-then you, but I am rapidly turning into my mother!!!! Scary or what?! love Kate xx|
|Reviewed by richard cederberg
|Stay the course in all faith.
Looking back can often immerse one
in depression. This is certainly true
in my own life. Keep pressing forward,
Ed, remembering those things that brought
life and light and happiness, and seeing those
things that aren't as though they were.
|Reviewed by Mr. Ed
|I remember 1899 as well, brother. And you were quite the Jersey Devil then, roaming those old Pine Barrens and scaring everyone!|
|Reviewed by Tom Hyland
THE 'YOU' U WUZ - WAS YOUNG AND DUMB ...
NOW - THE 'YEW' YOU IS - IS OLDER N' DUMBER!
N' NOW YOU GOT - NUTS WHAT'S IS NUMBER!
BUT - HEY - IT'S OKAY - YEW AIN'T NO PLUMBER ...
NOW YOU CAN SIT N' SHIT N' SIP N' SLUMBER!
:) :) :) TK.
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|A good and honest sharing, Ed; and one with which I can relate very well. Love, peace, and best wishes to you,
|Reviewed by Regina Pounds
|Ed, your title question hit a chord with me...you express this state of mind very well here. After one has been through a lot of hardships there comes a time when one wonders...
thanks for posting your thoughts
|Reviewed by OnepoetGem *the Poetic Rapper
|hey Ed, we change, sometimes big time, physically and mentally, me I quit drinking, now I laugh a lot, mostly phony, but it fools my brain, which figures I'm insane, cause I laugh in vain, cause a lot of the chits not funny, but having sense enough to humor keeps my face sunny, at times my eyes get runny, but I'm still glad that I have sense enough as a human creature, to use this humorous feature, cheers Ed|