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Ed Matlack

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OLD Tom Hyland...
by Ed Matlack

Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.
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           >> View all 5,657


He is much OLDER than he looks,

As well much OLDER than he claims,

All those stories he’s written,

He has done so with a quill pen…J

 

He can’t make pictures on his computer,

He has to have others do so; yes he is a cur,

He can’t even by himself shave off his fur,

And he’s got boobs that make him NOT a sir…J

 

He tries to pick on others, just a big bully,

You cannot call what hair he has as wooly,

To raise his male member he has to use a pulley,

Just trying to be honest here, totally, completely & fully…J

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Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 6/16/2011
Oerrrrrrrrr you gonna get a stinky one back ....lol!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Vivian Dawson 6/15/2011
Honestly laughing
~Ed~
at your imagination

Lady Vivian
Reviewed by Tom Hyland 6/15/2011
MY DEAR JERSEY DEVIL, KNAVE WUSS-A-LOT ...

1. NICE PIC OF ME - THAT WAS THE HALLOWEEN COSTUME I WORE THE YEAR I DRESSED UP AS 'THE JERSEY DEVIL FAIRY'.

2. MY FRIEND, DICK KING, WAS TOO KIND IN SUGGESTING THAT THE PULLEY WAS BECAUSE OF 'HEAVY LIFTING' - I WISH T'WAS TRUE! HOWEVER, THE REAL REASON FOR ITS USE IS TO LIFT MY VERY BIG 'BRASS BALLS'!

3. AS PEEWEE ED INDICATED, YER MA IS GONNA BE REALLY 'PISSED' FOR YOUR ARROGANCE TO YER ELDER, WISER, SUPERIORS!

4. AT PAT'S NEXT REUNION, YEW CAN USE YER VAST SUPPLY OF 'DEPENDS' TO 'WIPE MY CAN' FOR ME, WHEN I GO TO HIS NEW '4 SEATER CAN'!

5. RE MY 'BOOBS' - I CHALLENGE EWE TO A 'WET T-SHIRT' CONTEST - AT SAID REUNION ... WHILE I MAY BE A MERE 'A' CUP SIZE - YEW ARE PROBABLY A 'DOUBLE D' !!!

6. MY 'QUILL PEN' WORKS FINE, AND WITH GENUINE 'INDIA INK' - WHILE YER SICK PLUME IS FILLED WITH PISS N' VINEGAR, N' VICTIMIZING, VICIOUS 'LIES'!

7. THE LAST TIME EWE WUZ FULLY N' TOTALLY 'HONEST' - WUZ WHEN YEW FESSED UP TO 'WHACKIN' YER DOODLE' TOO MUCH, CAUSING TEMPORARY BLINDNESS!

8. I CAN'T 'MAKE PICTURES' ON MY PUTER? WAIT'LL I TAKE TIME TO NOW DO SO!

P.S. - I'M STILL PURTIER THAN YEW ANYWAYS!

SIR CUR REPROBATE - AKA LORD BAWLMER - AKA 'DIP-STICK' - AKA TOM-KAT ...

AKA 'MATLACK MASHER' ... :) :) :) (0) (0) (0) ...

Reviewed by Felix Perry 6/15/2011
Not sure how Tom's response to this is going to be but have a feeling you will find out real soon.
fee
Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 6/15/2011
A pulley? Wow that's pathetic. lol. Liz
Reviewed by jude forese 6/15/2011
yur a killer ...
Reviewed by Richard King 6/15/2011
You pickin on my buddy? Let me tell ya, that pulley ain't cause of old age,,,, he'd got a bad back and the doc. told him not to do any heavy liftin.....

Dick.
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader) 6/15/2011
No I aint going to either...no way ... but hey TK I adore you ya know that ... sighhh...Hugss
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 6/15/2011
I ain't goin' heah.
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 6/15/2011
Giggle.....tooo funny!

Anna
Reviewed by TONY NERONE 6/15/2011
That poor man is going to wake and then read what you said about him. But I know it is just in jest.
Peace
Tony
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 6/14/2011
Honest? Ma says you're being awfully rude, again. She also says you should show far more respect to your elders and that you should even offer to help old Cousin Tom hoist that pulley.

PS: He may need your help at the next Ed Family Outhouse Reunion on Labor Day at Cousin Patrick's, and I sure hope you don't let him down!
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 6/14/2011
Now I am just certain that Ma will be over to wash yer mouth out with soap for disrespectin' yer elders.....a pulley? Really? Cuz Patrick



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