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  Home > Humor > Poetry
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Paddy Bostock

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Member Since: Jul, 2012

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· Noddy in Wonderland

· Hand in Glove

· Foot Soldiers

· For the Love Of A Woman

· La Joie de Vivre

· Two Down

· Mole Smith and the Diamond Studded Pistol

· In the deathlight (also a song)

· What’s Beyond

· Do You Know...? (also a song)

· The Love At The Centre (also a song)

· Cats (also a song)

· The World is a Circle

· Keep on Laughing, My Son (also a song)

· Living Free (Also a Song)

· Spaghetti Man (Also a Song)

· Long Road (also a song).

         More poetry...
· HUMOUR ART: New Cover for Peace on Earth

· HUMOUR NEWS: Paddy Bostock's New Novel Out on Feb 1 as eBook and Paperback

· COMING SOON: New Humour Novel to be Published on February 1, 2015

· FANTASY REVIEWS: Noddy in Wonderland

· FANTASY NEWS: Publishers Weekly Review

· FANTASY NEWS: Noddy in Wonderland in Midwest Book Review.

· New five-star reviews for Noddy in Wonderland

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  Bertha (Also a song)
by Paddy Bostock
Thursday, September 13, 2012
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Paddy Bostock
•  The Old Ones
•  Spaghetti Man (Also a Song)
•  Living Free (Also a Song)
•  In the War (also a song)
•  Little Daughter Girl (Also a song)
           >> View all 20

Happy couples come in all shapes and sizes.

Her hair is the texture of new-mown hay,
Her nose is pocked and bulbous and tinged with grey,
She's irascible, depressive and hard to understand,
And some people say she should have been a man.
But nobody knows my Bertha like I do.

Her eyes transmit the venom of a rattlesnake,

Her lips are puce and pouting and probably fake,

She has the sense of humour of a giggling grave,

And some people say she'll never be saved.

But nobody knows my Bertha like I do.

She used to play at right back for the WRAF,
Her favourite thing was jumping up and down on the ref,

She's built like a mountain with muscles on her teeth,

And some people say she should be in the police.

But nobody knows my Bertha like I do.

She's a union official who votes for the right,
She used to be a Nazi before she saw the light,

She loves to wear a uniform with highly polished wellies,

And some people say now they know where hell is.

But nobody knows my Bertha like I do.

For I need to have my Bertha to help me through life,
I'm such a shrinking violet I need a tough wife,
She's protective and aggressive and never lets me down,
And though some people say I'm a weak-kneed clown,
Nobody knows me like my Bertha does. 



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Reviewed by Regis Auffray 10/21/2012
You are classic, Paddy; you make me think of olden days when poets worked at their "stuff." I do not. I am spoiled at times with inspiration, and I admit, I do even edit. Your poetry is fine to me, Paddy; I wish that meant something. Love and best wishes,

Reviewed by Connie Faust 9/13/2012
This is such a fun song, and truly, Bertha sounds just right! I really enjoyed your humor.


Books by
Paddy Bostock

Noddy in Wonderland

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For the Love Of A Woman

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La Joie de Vivre

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Two Down

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Mole Smith and the Diamond Studded Pistol

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Foot Soldiers

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Hand in Glove

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  2. Finally looks like some significant snow i
  3. If women had udders...!
  4. I Downloaded A Virus
  5. Dillbert Pickle
  6. Like His Mother Used To Do
  7. Pet Port A Potty
  8. Somebody Blinked
  9. For Rent…Christmas Angel for Shoveling Sno
  10. Confusion say: Men who play with selves r
  11. Dear Santa...
  12. I Am So Bored...
  13. White Nose Hair
  15. I Want a Donut
  16. Dementia is Contageous
  17. Georgie Porgie
  18. See what happens when you leave your child
  19. Sexy Santa
  20. The Golden Years...

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