This one was hard. It's personal, it needs some work, and needs critique to make it say what it has to say. Consider it a very rough first draft. i need to have it out there, though...
Chord after chord the music wounds you
Quietly, you bleed with every beat and riff
Road trip tributes, romantic ballads
Written to recall
One night stands, twenty-something groupies,
What you thought were old, forgotten flames
I wrote this song just for you
But no one would understand
Between now and forever after
A mother needs a lover, too
Under bright lights, every stage remains unchanged
You make the all gigs that you can
You applaud; shout cheers, even if tears fall on the way
After all, when the lights go dark
There are bags to pack, bills to pay, small child at hand
Another night, another town, whereís your man?
I wish they could hear my song
Maybe then, they all might comprehend
Itís a poem for a womanís pain,
A heart tuned by guitar strings far too long.
You prayed for a promise, married a dream,
Ended up as one more rider with the band
Somewhere around Lubbock, sharps became flats
All you were left with was,
ďHi, Iím the singerís wife.Ē
Iím sorry it took so long to write this down
But itís hard to touch someone close to the flame.
You only know me as a gentle face in the dark.
Iíve held your arm, made you smile,
Listened to those problems no one wants to hear
While that damned crowd bought him another roundÖ
Itís OK you put your arm around me,
Squeezed back once, just a little
Iím sure someone, somewhere understands.
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|Reviewed by Lori Garrison (Reader)
|It touches me in a way that most people will never know. I stumbled across your poem and I am so glad I did. To all the "Lori's" who have been there, we thank you.|
|Reviewed by m j hollingshead
|Reviewed by Tinka Boukes
|Reviewed by Sandie Angel
|You are very emotional-charged and is evident in this poem. This poem is heartfelt and well-expressed of your love and pain. I think this is well-done.
Lucky Star Sandie May Angel :o)
|Reviewed by firstname.lastname@example.org Bennett
|elt this and i would not change something that comes from the heart. There is nothing like expressions from the heart and impressions go no where. This is marvelous to me so with that said God bless.|