Customer Service

I dial a given number, they call customer service

I feel like a complete novice

When faced with 50 options, which one do I choose?

Will I win or loose?

An automated voice trills out and leaves me in a daze

Confused; my mind in a quandary and haze

Tentatively I pick a random number

Another 50 options; was one about cucumber?

What the hell; I press another button and pray

That someone will talk to me today

I’m through, I must be; music is playing

“All our advisors are busy” a pre-recorded voice is saying

Half an hour later, I’m dying for a pee

All those cups of coffee are playing havoc with me

Delusion has set in, a voice is asking for my name

No more coffee for me, I don’t like this game

Another question, more personal this time

My date of birth I recall and mono-toned I chime

My turn to ask for help, sweat pours down my brow

I’ve forgotten, oh God what do I say now?

Quickly I resume control and confidently enquire

I say it quick in case I expire

I’m waiting for the reply with baited breath

Or is it my impending death?

An hour has passed and I’m close to the final solution

A conundrum of contradictions, I’m now plotting counterrevolution

For customer service now tells me, and I’m sure, it’s a coup

“Sorry I can’t help you”

© Andrea Hale