A half-term jamboree of
show, dance, singing and show
confections of netting and grease paint

Gaggles of the gathered mill about:
confused and in-dragged grandparents,
doting mothers, clucking
white-haired officials, harassed
and hard-working teachers

Pubescent Jack The Lads
compete with girls ranging in maturity
from Violet Elizabeth to Vera Lynn;
a glorious cornucopia of 12-15s.
Most are dressed variously
in unsuitably eye-catching gear
as they take centre stage to fulfill
their fantasies of hopes and dreams

The Adjudicator is awe-inspiring
treating us spasmodically
to snatches of Bizet and Wagner,
breathing so perfect
her dangling fob bounces lustily
off the walls of her sagging abdomen

In the musty fag-end gloom
of this city community centre
senses are tried and tested
as all try to maintain an air
of eager expectation.
And what can we say -
except that Simon Cowell
is not here today!