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John T Banasiewicz Jr

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Member Since: Apr, 2004

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Canvas of Abuse
by John T Banasiewicz Jr
Tuesday, May 18, 2004
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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           >> View all 31

Dedicated to those who experience abuse from a father


Naked as a child standing before the mirror


Black, blue, and some dried red


Tears streaming down my cheeks


Inner body still feeling the pain


 


You were a crafty artist


Leather strap and hickory stick your brush


Making painful strokes of blue, black, and red


You feeling such a rush


 


So clever did you paint too


Brush marks perfectly placed


Once my body canvas was clothed


No one would know unless I told


 


Discipline and tough love


You told me with each stroke


Laughter and joy knowing as you destroy


Painting my canvas until the skin broke


 


Years have passed and I have grown


Still naked in the mirror I stand


No black, blue, or dried red


Visible on my canvas as a grown man


 


Discipline and tough love what an excuse


Now I really know it was total abuse


Delivered from your wife’s womb and part of you


Still today makes me wonder how you could abuse


 


John Thomas Banasiewicz


Copyright 2004

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Reviewed by Carolyn Kingsley 3/11/2007
This is good and so sad, but true. I read an article somewhere, that children who are killed by a parent, that as a rule it wasn't deliberate. It was a disiplining that got 'out of hand.' As Ann Landers once said: To understand all, is to forgive all.
Reviewed by Sandra Mushi 1/29/2006
It must have been so painful to write this, John. My heart goes out to you - but thank you so much for sharing! A heartfelt, sad write!

God bless, John!

Sandie.
Reviewed by Rose Dempsey 7/26/2004
So sorry that you had the experience that enabled you to write this. I think there are many of us who use our writing to heal past wounds. A lot of what we thought was 'normal' parenting back then turns out to be abusive when you look at it with adult eyes in the light of 2004.

This is an excellent poem and I could picture this in my mind with stark clarity.

Rose:)
Reviewed by Pier Tyler 5/24/2004
You have expressed pain well here. Sorry it was expressed from abuse. I am a 50's lady living in an 04 world. So, I know about whippings from a belt, switch that you have to go and get. I hated when I was told, "wait til I get through" the agony of waiting, hoping it would slipped the mind. I think I turned out okay though. Not to make light of abuse. Visualization works, you could visualize you the adult going to rescue that little boy, picking him up and holding him and telling him, "I finally come for you. Let's go home." As a way of healing. This is a worthy read. Thanks John for sharing this with us.
Reviewed by Judith Pleasant 5/23/2004
Tommy,
I am sure it took a lot of strength to write this. I am sorry for your pain. Thank God, I only got a couple of switchings,of which I believe in. I am glad with my switchings, came much love and respect.
I wish yours could have been the same.
I can't imagine, nor do I want to, what you went through.
May God heal your mind and soul.
Blessings,
Judith
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 5/22/2004
A real and gutsy write, John. Thank you. Love and peace to you. Regis
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 5/22/2004
Powerful write!!!!
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 5/22/2004
a sad write! very powerfully and very well expressed, tommy!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in tx., karen lynn. :( >tears <
Reviewed by Henry Lefevre 5/21/2004
I often wonder
'Bout those days in the shed.
Did they make me a man
Or just bottom-side red.
Reviewed by Abe Rossi (Reader) 5/21/2004
the scars of the flesh heal...the ones imprinted in the mind never seem to completly heal...I learned at an early age to avoid my Dad when he was drinking...which seemed to be all the time...but sometimes there was no place to hide...except whithin...pains a funny thing...only hurting on the outside for a little while...it makes the soul cry for long after...nice piece....thanx for sharing...Peace Abel
Reviewed by E T Waldron 5/20/2004
An excellent write on the topic John!
I didn't have it in my upbringing, but
my husband was a vicious abuser and his
beating me and our two boys unmercifully was
the main reason I left him. However, I must add
that his mental abuse was even worse. He would
do things to scare us that you wouldn't believe.
He learned from his father who abused him!it's a
vicious cycle, that we now know about through studies.
People should seek help!
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 5/20/2004
Ah, John, it was the mother in our house.
Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader) 5/19/2004
John you have so perfectly painted this canvas of abuse that it leaves me to believe you perhaps were once a victim of such abuse, and if not then you have a emotional heart and soul of gold and understanding!!!! Powerful and touching work!

~Nikki~
Reviewed by Ann Piatt 5/19/2004
John, your presentation of this write is both powerful and touching. And even after the bruises are long since gone from the body...the scars remain embedded deeply within the mind. This should never be...
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 5/19/2004
You have penned a most powerful piece here, John, right from your heart and soul. Child abuse is such a sad topic, and yet its message must be seen and heard, if we ever hope to end it. Kudos.
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 5/19/2004
Powerful and sad the way you had it Tommy....but i wish my daddy did it he went easy on us...but boy the day he spoke to you.. it was worse than ever...instead my mom was the abuser.....geeesh she was the one who hammered me all the time...but thinking back.....she should've done it more...maybe I would've been a better person today!!

I do not believe in child abuse...no wonder mine is taking so many chance and get away with it...but a good smacks help getting them back to reality !!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers 5/19/2004
John, You painted this canvas well. Not only did it leave marks on my heart but in my mind as well.
Child abuse is a tragedy within itself, one that needs to be fought like a mighty war.
Very well written! Lisa
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 5/18/2004
Packed with power and expressions that hurt and hinder and scare. This is so powerful I had a gentle Dad thank God.....
But many do not....

Thank you for sharing this one.....JOHN.

lady peg
Reviewed by jude forese 5/18/2004
powerful poem packed with imagery that makes the reader feel the pain and suffering experienced by abuse from a father, the one who should be loving and caring ...
Reviewed by Lori Moore 5/18/2004
So many wonderful images. I especially like the 2nd stanza. Nicely done.

Reviewed by Linda Hill 5/18/2004
((( John )))
Bless you, my friend
I am sorry you had to endure such pain.
The black and blue marks on your body
may fade away, but the scars on your
heart will never go away. I know how
you feel. God bless.

~Linda
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 5/18/2004
Ah John, This touches something deep inside of me, I can still see my father beating my brothers so badly, funny, he never touched us girls, my mom took care of that, Excellent poem on a very painful subject.

Reindeer
Reviewed by Rose L 5/18/2004
This poem will deeply touch those who have felt and survived the pain you write about in this poem. You have done a masteful job with this, your canvas. Thank you, for having the strength of character to write about such a difficult subject.

Love,

~Rose~
Reviewed by Roxanne Smolen 5/18/2004
Stark and painful. I can relate.



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