Too Cold awfully cold for a decent cat

Who will climb up a tree and descend on a rat

Too cold much too cold for a decent cat

Whose tail held mid-air

Will flick and despair

When she misses that bird

Who escapes into air

Much too cold, too darn cold for a decent cat.

Too bold very bold for a proper puss

Whose whiskers are white and her mittens chartreuse

Who soars from a tree to the top of a house

When she yowls, “Over there, look, I’ve spotted a mouse!”

She flits like a fairy

With a ghost from the past

Eats corn and raspberry

Too darn bold way too bold for a proper cat.

Call me in, call me in and I’ll give you a smirk

Your lungs full and howling

       ‘whoa is you’ for the work

I’ll hang out with slugs

And a snail named McGee

I will do as I please and forever you’ll see

Proper cats don’t give answers

Proper cats don’t oblige

You will cater to us

And this explains why:

Our nature refined is regal at least

Its splendor is spoken by kings and by beast

We’re carried we’re coddled we’re fed as the best

We’ll sleep when we want and we’ll land on your chest

For your home is our castle

Its land our domain

This is how we’ve derived

Of our proper-est name.