The Trouble I Went Through
The mountain stronghold blew
with an awful sound; the C5 had worked a treat
time to take my leave and be quick on my feet.
Sirens sounded as bullets whispered ‘death’ past my ear.
Clipping on my ski’s to make good my escape
I whispered back ‘up yours shitehawk! You I do not fear.’
That was of course
until I saw the avalanche coming my way
ever had that feeling? It’s just not your day.
So I skied like a man possessed as a shot rang out,
the bullet missed my vitals but added another hole
to my vest, surely, thought I…I’m blessed.
I still had to outrun the chasing Christmas dust
and was running out of mountain fast…
time for a stroke of genius, a leap of faith,
thinking on your feet in this job is a must.
So into the abyss leapt I, shedding ski’s in a free fall fly
pulled the rip-cord of the sack on my back.
A great whooshing! Was followed by a pleasant crack!
and hey-presto! The man in black sailed to earth
upon a silken canvas of red white and blue.
And he did it just for you.
Why all this trouble you may ask?
What was it all for at the end of the day?
All because the lady loves Milk Tray!
Confectionary to melt the heart they say
hmm…Confusing lights upon asphalt rivers
and dodging the maniac in the Mazda,
on reflection...it really would have been
much less hassle just to go to Asda*.
*Asda UK supermarket owned by Walmart