AuthorsDen.com   Join Free! | Login    
   Popular! Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry
Where Authors and Readers come together!

SIGNED BOOKS    AUTHORS    eBOOKS new!     BOOKS    STORIES    ARTICLES    POETRY    BLOGS    NEWS    EVENTS    VIDEOS    GOLD    SUCCESS    TESTIMONIALS

Featured Authors:  David Litwack, iAlan Greenhalgh, iDr. Ronald Bissell, iMarie Wadsworth, iPaul Ulasien, iLindsey Webster, iCHANTI LACE, i

  Home > Poetry > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

William Cryer

· + Follow Me
· Contact Me
· Poetry
· News
· 5 Titles
· 9 Reviews
· Save to My Library
· Share with Friends!
·
Member Since: Dec, 2004

William Cryer, click here to update your pages on AuthorsDen.




Featured Book
Poetry Carnival
by Lori Maynard

Over 200 pages of poetry inspired by everything and nothing all at once. A part of everyone exists at the poetry carnival. For, on the midway of life, we are all look..  
BookAds by Silver
Gold and Platinum Members


spring haiku
by William Cryer
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Not rated by the Author.
Share   Print  Save   Follow
Recent poems by William Cryer
•  Halloween Drabble
•  Rise of the Gravy Queen
•  autumn haiku
•  summer haiku
           >> View all 5

Another season in my haiku quartet. Months of writing nothing but prose...poetry starting to get rusty.

First draft:

vast searing blue yawn
bloated clouds hunker low and
brood lurid white thoughts



Want to review or comment on this poem?
Click here to login!


Need a FREE Reader Membership?
Click here for your Membership!


Reviewed by Charlie 7/14/2008
Howdy, William! I never did get the nack for Haiku writing, so take this with a grain of salt... great images, but they're disjointed. Link them with verbs, and chuck out the dead words like... okay, there's only one dead word "and"... linking the last two lines is easy-- just a switch in tenses from present to progressive... but to link the first with the middle is tricky... again, you need a verb... here's a cool visual-- what if the clouds are escaping from the blue's yawn? or they're floating on their backs in a lazy sky sea...

You do choose the difficult forms, don't you? You've got some great lines. I love "searing blue yawn", and the cartoon like balloons you've made of the cloud thoughts... good luck! ...and for your next form, you're on to winter? --Charlie
Popular Poetry (Poetry)
  1.  A Prisoner's Freedom
  2.  Gold-digger
  3.  Ostrich Ride and other Tales
  4.  A Poem for my Paula
  5.  The Blessed Blanket
  6.  Quiet Parting
  7.  the wolf
  8.  Alice
  9.  You Can Have Me
  10.  Strikingly Naked

Pacific Crimson - Forget Me Not by Edward Patterson

Poetry memorializing the events and people of the Pacific War...  
BookAds by Silver, Gold and Platinum Members

Authors alphabetically: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

Featured Authors | New to AuthorsDen? | Add AuthorsDen to your Site
Share AD with your friends | Need Help? | About us


Problem with this page?   Report it to AuthorsDen
AuthorsDen, Inc. All rights reserved.