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M. R. B.

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Member Since: Jan, 2005

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Marked
by M. R. B.

Monday, January 31, 2005
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Recent poems by M. R. B.
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           >> View all 18

I was born hard, coming breech, forceably turned, forceps used during the long delivery. My poor mother survived and though her doctors told her to never have another child, she ended up having four more. But as a result of that treachurous delivery I was born with about 75% of my hearing destroyed. But somehow, incredibly, no one in my birth family knew this, including my mother, until I was 17 years old. I certainly had no idea I was practically deaf. I thought I was normal and everyone else was off the wall. But due to my differences, it was just assumed I was born bad, would amount to nothing and was treated as such. Fortunately, I had an inner spirit and inner fire that flamed brightly and wouldn't let me die.

I am now a grandmother, albeit a young one, but grandmother nonetheless, and this is the first piece of writing I've ever written concerning my birth and trials as a child growing up not knowing I was deafened, in a family who never heard me. Learning to Lip Read without conscious knowledge of what I was doing. Living in a hearing family within a hearing world. Knowing I didn't belong but not understanding why until I was seventeen years old, nearly an adult. By the time we all knew it really wasn't my "vile" character that made me so weird but rather a physical disabilty neglected by the adults in my life, it was too late to rectify anything.
----------------------------------------------


marked
 
turned and
pulled
torn bloody from my mother's
womb
i came into this world
with a part of me missing
not yet knowing 
my imperfection 
tiny child
new to the world
untouched by time's
deception
growing up under your
disapproving eye
telling me
i'm worthless
i'll never amount to shit
yet the rebel inside
kept me alive
fighting back hoping
i wasn't bad
just battling an invisible war
but why i would cry
did you treat me as though
i'm a character gone wicked
you had the control 
held my life in your hands
my mother
I was just your child
we learned
when i was nearly grown
i was born deafened
imperfect child
i never knew existed
hearing distorted
perceptions all twisted
an invisible barrier
separating me from you
it was me all along
i was the one off the wall
broken child marked for life
foundation shattered the
shock of it all
not understanding the
lasting implications of a
verdict so cruel
deaf but not worthless
came a thunderous
streak of knowing
i was right all along
i knew it i knew it
it was having no ears
i wasn't bad after all
this understanding held close to
my chest
not daring to utter a sound
i stayed silent
i knew no one would
hear me
no matter how loud
i shouted
 
© MRD 2005
Photo of a 23 year old MRD by P.J.M.

              

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Reviewed by A Serviceable Villain 4/20/2005
Mari,

The image fits perfectly with this powerfully emotive write ... thanks for sharing ... excellent!!

Blessings,

Robert
Reviewed by jacqueline amos 2/2/2005
Oh the sweet angel that God gave life, the hearing may be impaired ;but the heart hears the sounds of love, all things through the created shall not be behold, you were the angel that God sent with love, oh how great are thou who lived beyond the sky, when man said a child would not be born, God delivered four, my blessed sister through this life, a child of God is born, you have the greatest thing in this life, love through your poems, peace my sister in spirit you have much more, than those who feel they have more.
Reviewed by M.Bennett Hooper (Mikii) 2/2/2005
Awesome and excellent, seem inadequate to describe the piece, and your courage. I especially identify with the last verse here, as most viewed me in adolescence as crazy different. It is a badge I now wear with honor considering the mess of the world made by the alleged sane people. PEACE AND BLESSINGS.
Reviewed by Henry Lefevre 2/2/2005
Some have hearing problems
When they first come alive.
Others don't face them
'till they're a hundred and five

Sooner or later, our problems arrive.

Sad problem. Happier ending.

Vaya con Dios.
Reviewed by George Carroll 2/2/2005
Overcoming a disability in a world that only accepts perfection is the mark of a strong person. May God bless you in life and may your poetry be a clarion that we can hear through your mind.
Reviewed by Handsum Hart 2/1/2005
A most powerful write, that speaks volumes.

Peace and sunshine
HH
Reviewed by jude forese 2/1/2005
no doubt a testament of your character ...
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 2/1/2005
A powerfully meaningful write, Mari. Well done. Love and peace. Regis
Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU 2/1/2005

A depicting of birth and life of a true Poet, "Marked" marks its goal showing the world that the winner finds her/his way.

An inspiring and warning message delivered through the lines of a poetic grandiose.

Healthy Long Creative Life, Poet!


Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
Reviewed by Jane Rodway 2/1/2005
This is excellent- really gives the outsider a view into the world of someone who is deaf. They also say that some people who had forceps used on them at birth end up schizophrenic, but I do not know how true that is, only that it did happen to someone I love after a forceps birth. Wonderful writing.
Reviewed by Nila Jamier 2/1/2005
This is so well pened. Life is a force of eruption but having to arrive this way makes it even more forceful. last stanza is execellent.
:)
Nila
Reviewed by Dale Clark 2/1/2005
I'm also in awe. A powerful statement
and I'm glad you can be heard. You have
a voice with a lot to say I see. Brava!
Reviewed by Vesna Vanessa 2/1/2005
I am in awe! Saved this one!
Thankyou Mari..:)

Vesna :::
Reviewed by William DeVault 2/1/2005
Excellent worked, naked and profound. My first wife had greatly impaired hearing as a result of being the fifth child of rH incompatible parents, and she has and had many deaf friends. I have always found the use of sensory images in those who by birth, accident, disease or choice have shut off one or another sense (One of the first exercises I put my proteges to is to have them write a poem describing a sunset, without visual images) fascinating. Good work.
Reviewed by M. B. 2/1/2005
I was trying to convey by the last stanza, that even though it was me who had no hearing, it was my birth family, who was really deaf.
Reviewed by C. McGovern-Bowen 2/1/2005
blessed understanding...
a powerfully moving piece, Mari.
well done.
Carolyn
Reviewed by Jill Eisnaugle 2/1/2005
Never let the inner spirit that moves you, cease itself. We all can overcome our most difficult adversities as long as we keep a positive attitude and good outlook for making the best of what we've been given.
Keep the faith.
Jill
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader) 2/1/2005
A grand mother? Blimey, anothe adchievement to be proud. Nothing gets in your way. Love the fortitude you exude so powerfully.

A living example of how to overcome anything.

Determination wins the day. Great example for others to follow..
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 2/1/2005
Fortunately, I had an inner spirit and inner fire that flamed brightly and wouldn't let me die.

Good for You - and it burns very bright in this powerful poetic piece.
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 2/1/2005
My aunt was profoundly deaf and she was quite a lady. Despite her handicap which was not discovered until she was older like you she did raise a family. She kept the neatest house and learned to read lips. Last year she died at age 91 a remarkable woman. I was also told the same thing you were when I was growing up. Ah critics but I think that you and I turned out fine.
Reviewed by Felix Perry 2/1/2005
THis is a very personal and intense write and though it took a lot of courage you covered it so well and I'm sure it will give a lot of hopw to others out there.

Felix
Reviewed by Bonnie Torrente 1/31/2005
A truly heartfelt write,
My son was also deaf and learned to lip read.
Fortunately I discovered it when he was five and it was repaired.
A painful life you've lived, my dear.
Bless your spirit.

Love, Bonnie
Reviewed by E T Waldron 1/31/2005
Mari, I can only say you have already been to hell, the only way left is up! Fantastic write! I'm only sorry that you had to suffer this unfortunate childhood. A cousin I grew up and played with most of my childhood was deaf. But he got hit in the head with a baseball bat at age 3,an accident. I commend you for what you have accomplished!
Thanks for sharing, your faith is a blessing to all!...eileen



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