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Eddie Arce

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Member Since: Feb, 2005

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My Horizon
by Eddie Arce
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Not rated by the Author.
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           >> View all 19

Give me feedback people. What does this need?

Across countless acres of dreams I walk.
Forever I am bound
to the celestial pastel
of their Lilac skies.
A distant impression of you.

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Reviewed by Al Swanson (Reader) 2/18/2005
Across countless acres of dreams I walk.
Forever I am bound
to the celestial pastel
of their Lilac skies.
A distant impression of you.

personally ed, I think that to say 'counted' acres is much more powerful than countless acres

Across, ever, counted acres of dreams I walk.
Forever; I am bound
to the celestial pastel
of a Lilac sky.
Distanct, my impression of you. maybe smile
Reviewed by Sue Hess 2/18/2005
it inspires me to write the following:

fading blues of forgotten dreams
sail me into tomorrow
leaving your memory like a scent
of morning glories
and yesterday

maybe someone else will add another verse and we will have a conglomeration.
Reviewed by D May (Reader) 2/18/2005
Eddie--I like this the way it is. This has a soft feel to it.
Reviewed by Sandie Angel 2/18/2005
This is NOT a Ku, but it is a nice poem, Eddie Arse!

Sandie May Angel a.k.a. Sandie Angel :o)

Reviewed by Lisa Hilbers 2/18/2005
Personally I would say give it the voice it's demanding..but then it's just as easy to Ku it, and let it whisper.
I suppose you'll have to be the final judge!
But I like it's potential either way you go.

Reviewed by L. Figgins 2/17/2005
Ok, if it's going to be this short, make it shorter: Haiku. Remove all unessentials, thought and emotion distilled...The most commom form is 5/7/5. You have an excellent start here! Adjectives are poison, tho sometimes cannot be avoided. I can think of a poem right now from what you've written here, but that's your job...keep enthusiastic. You have a dynamite attitude!
Reviewed by Ed Matlack 2/17/2005
Like you had stated about my short one of late, it seems it could go on and have more to it, but then again, are you satisfied with it? If so, nothing I or anyone else can say will make it the end, you are the only one that has to review your own works and profit by that or not...Ed
Reviewed by jude forese 2/17/2005
ok ... develop the idea more ...
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader) 2/17/2005
This one sure said a lot and I found it to be very beautiful. This is very well done.
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