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  Home > Poetry > Poetry
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Ian R Thorpe
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Member Since: Before 2003

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Books
• The Best Of Boggart Blog (vol 1)

• Dimensions of Mystery

• A Two Faced Poet

• Millennium Dawn (anthology)

• A Stroke of Luck


Short Stories
• Psycho Benefit Fraud

• The Vegetarian Shoemaker Of Barking

• Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #7

• Garry Trotter and the Portal of Pleasure #3 (Adult Humour)

• The King of the Ribble Delta Blues Singers (humour)

• A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 19

• A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 18

• A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 17

• A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 16

• A Stroke of Luck - Chapter 15


Articles
• Shocking Revelation: michael Jackson and barack Obama The Same Person

• A Career In Substance Abuse? Sounds Just The Job For Me.

• G20: World Leaders Kick Off A Witch Hunt

• Girls Alone (News From The Girls School

• Italian Vampire's Grave Discovered

• Stone Throwing Chimp Shocks Scientists

• Women In Labout (not pregnancy but political satire)

• V2G: Technology You Can't Believe In.

• Scientists Have Doubts About Doomsday Machine

• The flame still Burns Tribute to Robert Burns)


Poetry
• Doctor, Doctor

• Jack (a horrible Halloween poem)

• Tribute To A Prodigious Liver (Keith Floyd)

• Kiss and Sell

• Where Did All The Money Go

• Ode to Politicians

• The New Poet Laureate

• From The Darkness : Vernal Equinox

• Danny Boyle: A Song For Oscar

• Graduation Blues

         More poetry...
News
• Poetry Life and Times Interviews Janet Caldwell

• Ian Thorpe on Christian Radio. Unbelieveable

• Season's Greetings

• July Poetry Life and Times

• Poetry Life and Times

• Ian's Audio online at last (specially for halloween)

• Multi - Media and poetry - the future

Ian R Thorpe, click here to update your web pages on AuthorsDen.

Recent poems by Ian R Thorpe
• The Hounds of the Morrigan (Halloween poem)
• You Just Can't Be Too Paranoid
• There's A Lot Of It About! (satire)
• Palm Power
• Ancient Rites, Guilty Feelings (forbidden love)
• Pooh Sticks
• The Dinner Plates of Old England (humour)
• Afghan Woman
• Western Monkeys (political protest)
• The Offcomer
• Who Stole The Stars
• Doctor, Doctor
           >> View all 151
The Greatest Love
by Ian R Thorpe
Sunday, November 30, 2003
Not rated by the Author.

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'Bout time I brought this one to the top for a spell. This page gets many hits from guys - and none of them read the poem. OK fellas,its a 1974 Triumph TR6, straight six, 2.4 litre engine, twin cam, 5 speed close ratio gearbox. And at 30 years old it easily tops 120mph.


A Woman may love many things,
Her bloke, hairdresser or mum,
Her Friends, cat, sister
Her daughter or her son
But only a man can ever know
The greatest love by far
A woman can love nothing
The way he loves his car.

He'll caress it and he'll cherish it,
 park out of rain and sun.
He'll polish all its paintwork
Then he'll rub it up again
He'll call it GTI or VTEC
Or SE-X among his cronies
But nobody will ever know
What name his very own is.

He will never ever confess
For fear of derision and ridicule
That he talks to it while cruising,
He would look like such a fool.
He'll say "Faster now my beauty,
That's doing it for me, you beast"
He'll behave like a berserker
At an adrenalin feast.
He would never drive an automatic
No - one could understand
The buzz he gets driving his car
With its knob in his left hand.



 

 

Copyright © 2001, Ian Thorpe;

 

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Reviewed by Nordette Adams 3/25/2005
Vehicular masturbation. WOW! You're revealing secrets here. But I suspected as much based on car commercials, however this poem was far more entertaining. When my old mentor's wife told him he could get the read Miata he'd lusted after for years for his 55th birthday, and he did, it crossed my mind that perhaps she was really saying, "Darling, I want less sex. Get yourself a hot little red number to play with." :-D ~~Nordette
Reviewed by Janet Caldwell (author) 12/11/2003
Ahhh and I thought that I was your greatest love. lol This is too cool.

Jan xoxoxoxo
Reviewed by La Belle Rouge (Reader) 12/2/2003
Unusual for a man to admit this, great poem, a joy to read.
Reviewed by The Bear Paw 11/30/2003
Take me for a ride in your car, car.... it's a song that I thought fit this wonderful piece you have written. Remember, women like that buzz when the knob is in their hands, too..... smiles..... super write...
In Spirit,
Bear
Reviewed by A PAX 11/30/2003
lmao
this is soooooooooo true!!!
Reviewed by Tinka Boukes 11/30/2003
Ya Yayaa!! Know the feeling...because I am the "transport"...on two wheels!!

But get driven in low-range first gear and never get polished lately...lol!!

Love Tinka
Reviewed by Floria Kelderhouse (Reader) 11/30/2003
Hi Ian....you are wrong....see....women are responding to you.....hmmm....not saying what they'll say...LOL.....Oh you men and your cars......but I guess it could be something worse than a car taking our place....loved the write....love the car.....floria
Reviewed by Antoinette Kopperfield 11/30/2003
Cute and so true. The picture helps to explain 'The Cat'.
A great and amusing write to make us laugh.
Antoinette
Reviewed by Mr. Ed 11/30/2003
I know what you mean, Ian! And I'm not telling you my wonderful adorable lovable vehicle's name either; that's private.
Reviewed by Retta (Reindeer) Mckenzie 11/30/2003
Ha ha..I loved this, excellent!

Reindeer


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