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Peter J. Hedge

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Member Since: Before 2003

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Books by Peter J. Hedge
Old Warriors
by Peter J. Hedge

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"Trimmings of a Hedge" is a book of the funniest jokes I know told in rhyming form. Please note, these are not my jokes and many you will have heard before. I take the credit only for the way in which I have "told" it.

The book is still unpublished . . . but I am always open to offers from agents or publishers.




Old Warriors

Charlie and Bill
Sat very still,
On two, adjacent benches.
It was 88 years,
Since they’d shared their fears,
In the mud, and the blood, of the trenches.

But their hearts still rushed,
And faces flushed,
When recalling the days of their youth.
And the sounds of battle,
Like machine-guns’ rattle,
Still rang in their ears . . . that’s the truth!

 “Charlie?” Bill said,
“P’raps I’m nuts in the ‘ead,
“But d’you remember those mugs of tea?
“That were the colour of clay,
“Sort of . . . watery grey
“An' they gave 'em to us for free?"

 Charlie said, “Yes,
“I do, I guess.
“But what made you think of that?"
Said Bill blowing his nose,
“Well I suppose,
“It’s the time of life that I’m at.

 “They mixed in stuff,
“Which was, kind of rough,
“To cool our rampant ardour.
“Bromide* it was,
“And they did it because,
“Sex-starved they thought we’d fight ‘arder.

 “Well, me memory’s goin’,
“An' me aches they’s growin’’
“An' death’s round the corner lurkin’.
“But it seems t'  me,
“That finally . . .
“. . . that chemical’s actually workin’!”

*     North American readers may want to substitute "Saltpetre" for bromide.  The "end" result is supposedly the same.

Thank you Karla for that prompt.

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Reviewed by A PAX 11/22/2003
lol great
love it!
Reviewed by Sarah Tagert 11/17/2003
great write, thanks for sharing
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner 10/14/2003

i think it was called saltpeter LOL

welcome to author's den--fine write (or retelling, actually)

(((HUGS))) and love,

karla. :)
Reviewed by Nicole Davis Vergara (Reader) 10/14/2003
LOL...thanks for the great chuckles this afternoon BUT Ohhhhh those poor "Old Warriors!" ;O)
Reviewed by Calendula Petal (Reader) 10/14/2003
Hahahaha......poor guys having to carry them loaded weapons around with them all day........!
Just loved this, my kind of humor.

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