Sunday, October 24, 2010, my brother,
60 years old, healthy man, didn’t wake up.
Dedicated to my brother.
Like fleeting Spring my cheerless life has passed,
The Fall acceded to the throne of Summer.
And I departed, as I knew I must, from face of Earth
To nothingness. I knew this day would come,
But so soon I didn't expect the closure.
Time and again I heard the sacred tale
Of our souls that will ascend to heaven
And will be granted the eternal Peace.
Now that I dwell among celestial bodies,
I'm still awaiting my eternal Peace...
But how can Peace descend upon a soul
Who lost the footing of the Earth's firm crust?
The clouds whisper to my lifeless ears
That Peace will cost me memories of Earth,
But even though a lonely life I had
I wouldn't ever trade the Earth for Peace.
On Earth we make our shaky toddler steps.
In Earth we bury our lifeless bodies
And pray that mother Earth would warm them up
And cuddle them in warmness of its heart.
I used to worship whiteness of the clouds
Majestically marching up above
And dreamt about walking barefeet
Upon their cotton softness, now that
I watch the clouds lying underneath,
Their whiteness no longer brings me joy
And I am straining eyes to recognize
My native Earth's familiar landscapes
Through milky vapor of my new abode.
Oh, dear Lord, you picked my poor soul
To dwell eternally in Paradise
And lifted off my broken back
The heavy stone of life I carried once.
But heaven, where dwells the bliss
Can not replace the smell of soil,
The fragrance of the grass fresh cut
It won't squeeze out of my soul.
I'll never know the happiness
Without my loved ones who I left,
But, pray, don't be in any rush
To reunite us, mighty Lord!
I'm used to loneliness on Earth.
May trees I shared insomnia with
Not miss me and may not be sad:
There's plenty still of folks on Earth
Who spend their nights in wooded groves
And talk of Love with silver Moon.
Who'll tell the squirrels in the wood
That they will never get a treat
From their friend who passed away?
Who can convince them that I wasn't
In fact, in real Paradise
When they awaited for me
On the porch?
Who'll wait amidst the ink of night
For birds who’s songs break nature’s sleep?
Or someone else will follow me
On my unhappy, dismal road?
On my last day on gorgeous Earth
The yellow leaves fell on my path
And cried out as I passed along:
Farewell, the soul that never failed
To share its love with lowly leaves.
Together we will pass away:
There’s no longer reason to
Shake on the branches and await
The coming of impending doom.
There’s no reason any more
To bow low before the wind
In hope that the wind will let
Us live for one more day
Or one more week.
The rain was weeping over my soul
It used to love to fill with sorrow,
It tried to wash away the pain
So it will no longer grieve.
There at a distance far away
The wind was howling in the sky
And passed along to birds and trees
The news that Soul who loved them all
Had gone to heaven on autumn morning!
By Liana Margiva
Translated from Russian by Anatol Kardiukov.