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  Home > Humor > Poetry
Popular: Books, Stories, Articles, Poetry     

Alan Cook

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Member Since: Jun, 2006

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Books
· Hit that Blot: A Carol Golden Novel

· Pictureland: A Matthew and Mason Adventure

· Dangerous Wind: A Carol Golden Novel

· Dancing with Bulls: A Matthew and Mason Adventure

· Relatively Dead: A Carol Golden Novel

· Forget to Remember: A Carol Golden Novel

· Freedom's Light: Quotations from History's Champions of Freedom

· Aces and Knaves

· Catch a Falling Knife

· Thirteen Diamonds


Short Stories
· Honey's Murder

· Freeway Exit

· Red Dress

· Antietam Adventure--Matthew and Mason Adventure

· Have a Nice Knife

· Echo's Story--Matthew and Mason Adventure

· Hot Days, Cold Nights

· Moon Over Murder

· Little Willie Chews the Scenery

· Freedom Sneezes--Matthew and Mason Mystery


Articles
· Grief: Why Writers Get it Wrong

· A Blog on a Blot: Backgammon Anyone?

· Are We in Dystopia Yet?

· Are You Normal? Do You Want to Be?

· Blaze a Trail: Do Something Nobody Else Has Done

· James Bond and Me--and a Few Other People

· Internet Backgammon (9 of 9) Glossary

· Internet Backgammon (8 of 9) Playing the Microsoft Computer Backgammon Prog

· Internet Backgammon (7 of 9) Psychology

· Internet Backgammon (6 of 9) Using the Doubling Cube


Poetry
· Librarian

· Witchcraft

· Mermaid

· Poet's Lament

· Amy Anne Diane

· Clarence High School Alma Mater

· Corporal Ed Lincoln, 23rd New York

· Can-Can

· Limericks--Lady from France

· Eyeful

         More poetry...
News
· 11 books at .99 on Kindle

· My books can be borrowed from Amazon Kindle

· Now 10 E-books for .99

· Amnesia Mystery Catching On

· 9 E-books for $.99

· My Books on Smashwords

· Awards for Run into Trouble

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Books by Alan Cook
  Ratings
by Alan Cook
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Alan Cook
•  Berlin Wall (1961-1989)
•  Librarian
•  Limericks--Lady from France
•  Minotaur, The
•  Bull Leaper
           >> View all 46


We've all done it.


 

A story is told of a far-distant land
where the people were graded like cuts of meat
from 1 to 10, both women and men,
from the president down to the guy on the street.
 
Now the female 10s liked the men who were 10s,
and as you'll guess the reverse was true .
A 9 and a 9, they got along fine;
an 8 and an 8 were compatible too.
 
But one day a group of guys who were 7s
were shooting the breeze in a local bar.
John said, "A 7 is not really heaven;
I'd like a chance to be a star.
 
"The 10s are stars and they get all the babes;
I wish that I could become a 10."
"You can wish for the moon or whistle a tune,"
said Dan, "but you'll only be upgraded when
 
the 8s and 9s and 10s are gone."
"That's it!" cried John. "We'll kill them all!
And those who survive, each 6 and each 5
will all be upgraded and we'll have a ball!
 
"For we'll be the 10s, we'll be kings of the hill;
the men will admire us, the women will swoon.
So be true to our cause and to hell with the laws;
if we get started now it can happen right soon."
 
They recruited the 6s and 5s and they fought
a war on the 10s and the 9s and the 8s.
And when they were done they knew they had won,
for they'd killed all their foes and settled their fates.
 
So the 7s were 10s and the 6s were 9s,
and the 5s became 8s as you know by now.
And the 10s were kings, they had women and things,
and they didn't question the why or the how.
 
One day a group of guys who were 7s
were shooting the breeze in a local bar.
Ed said, "A 7 is not really heaven;
I'd like a chance to become a star...."

Alan Cook, Mystery and walking writer


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Reviewed by pat medlin
how fun to read alan...i love your humor style
Reviewed by JMS Bell
...AND THE LAST SHALL BE FIRST...AND THE FIRST...NO MORE. GREAT WORK OF HUMOR WHICH REFLECTS ON THE ILLS OF 'RATINGS' WHEN VYING FOR THE NUMBER ONE SPOT TO BE NUMERO UNO. I AM SURE THAT THINGS LIKE THIS REALLY DO GO ON IN THE CORPORATE WORLD TODAY...THEY MAY NOT LITERALLY KILL ONE ANOTHER BUT THE 'GAMES' THAT ARE PLAYED TO GET TO THE TOP CAN DESTROY A PERSON EMOTIONALLY AND FINANCIALLY. WELL DONE AND ENJOYED. THANKS FOR SHARING, LOVE, JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Reviewed by Mary Lacey, Desertrat
Alan,

Adorable! Gave me a laugh for the day. Thanks.

Mary
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Peace on Earth by Paddy Bostock

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