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Connie Faust

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Happy Birthday--But It Wasn't Easy!
by Connie Faust

Monday, November 30, 2009
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Connie Faust
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           >> View all 288

FIRST, A DISCLAIMER: THIS POEM IS A FARCE--A FANTASY--A SILLY STORY! THE ONLY RESEMBLANCE TO THE TRUTH IS THAT IT IS MY BROTHER TED'S BIRTHDAY. I'M AFRAID THE BIRTHDAY CARD WON'T REALLY GET THERE TILL TOMORROW, TUESDAY, SINCE I MAILED IT SOMETIME SATURDAY. NOW THAT IT'S CLEARED UP,LET US PROCEED:


"Dear Ted; I hope you have a wonderful birthday. You know how I'm always late with my cards? This year, I made sure to get yours mailed on time!"


Just a little note in case your birthday card is late;
I promise you I mailed it on the proper date;
I'd searched the rack and settled on
that lovely birthday card;
then purchased it and signed our names,
but dropped it in the yard.
The dog leapt out from nowhere
and grabbed it by the throat;
The way she started chewing it,
you'd think she was a goat.
But finally I wrested it from her
fierce and awesome jaws,
though it only took her one big
swat to retrieve it with her paws.
She carried it out of the yard
and trotted to the pond.
The frogs were hibernating there;
of paper, they're not fond.
I thought she'd drop it with a splash,
but no, she changed her mind,
so out I came a-pouncing to
grab her from behind.
Just at that time, a big black crow
was gliding down to rest;
he saw the card, engaged his beak,
and took it to his nest.
I called Bill with his ladder
to climb up in the tree,
but when the crow began to flap,
he fell and broke his knee.
The flapping caused a big downdraft
that sent the card to flying,
while Bill, in pain, commenced to moan;
you'd think that he was dying.
The card then landed close to him,
and when I went to grab it,
I stumbled over poor old Bill
and thus, I couldn't nab it.
While Bill was being taken--
in an ambulance--to town,
the card blew up on the shiny hood
and hitched a ride right down
to the bottom of the driveway
close to the mailbox,
and I hollered, "Put it in there, please.
Oh, thank you, Sir--You rock!"
So Brother Dear, I hope you will
appreciate it all.
Visiting hours are 6 to 8,
in case you want to call.
 
Your loving Sister,
Connie
p.s. Bill's knee is mending well; he should be discharged as soon as they take him off the traction thingamajig.

 

 

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Reviewed by Mark Sebring 12/1/2009
This is hilarious! A wonderful yarn.
Reviewed by Micki Peluso 11/30/2009
Oh Connie--

This was priceless!! Thanks for giving me a really good laugh on this gloomy day!!Well done!! Now after reading all those who believed it in spite of your disclaimer, I am laughing even harder--whew--I needed this!

Micki Peluso
Reviewed by Susan de Vegter 11/30/2009
I LOVE IT!!
The rhythm and humor is tandem and the whole shebang made me more than smile.
Blessings and love,
Susan
Reviewed by Paul Berube 11/30/2009
Magnificent write, Connie. Truly enjoyed reading this. God bless.
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 11/30/2009
Smiles Connie :) I think I just heard a calling..you would be great for writing books for children..this was full of fun and you had me bouncing right with you
Christine
Reviewed by steve Chering 11/30/2009
You're all over the place. Really. had me twisting and turning right till the end.
Great!!
Steve Chering
Reviewed by Emile Tubiana 11/30/2009
Dear Connie, I am very sorry for Bill but you omitted to tell us what happened to the crow as I am a big fane of everything that flies, including paper air planes that I make for my grandson. I hope to hear from you about it. Love Emile :)
Reviewed by Connie Faust 11/30/2009
Oh my, Karen, you are so sweet to pray for Bill and me. I'm afraid I'm the one who needs it most for writing a fabricated story-poem. (I had such fun with it!) Alas and Alack, you were not the only to believe it--a dear friend just emailed me to say she would put Bill on her Prayer Chain.
Now I've added a disclaimer, so hopefully, the rest will just read and laugh and not worry about Bill. Love, Connie
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado 11/30/2009
Oh, poor Bill! Sorry to hear he had a little accident; hope he gets out of the hospital soon! Take care of the poor dear; what a thing to have happen--and right before Christmas, too! BAH the humbug! Hope things improve for y'all! Well done; y'all are in my prayers~!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Tx., Karen Lynn. :(



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