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K. Mulroney

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Sonnet - My Promise
by K. Mulroney

Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Rated "G" by the Author.
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           >> View all 43

You all know I don't like love poetry so no cracks about this Sonnet! I have taken Shakespeare's sonnet and re-written according to what I believe it is saying to me.Line by line. As you can see, I have used no rainbows or stars. It's still not a good love poem but a mere exercise of my muse's intelligence or lack thereof. Please read mine then directly below mine is Sonnet no 33 by Shakespeare. Did I do him justice? Not my muse, Shakespeare! Or do I owe him an apology?? Also, He had a rhyme scheme that I chose not to follow. I wanted mine to be as different as possible but still somewhat like his. get it!

If you can maneuver the way through my final round, after death decides to powered me gone, and you peruse, in fondness one more arduous time  those hard tipped and spiky phrases that I, your lover have put to paper, then Compare them now, again to these changing times.
And if you should find a better line within a strangers sonnet, 
never mind it.
Hold them for you, not for them to chime,
for they will guide you higher than the most ecstatic of their muses.
Then vow to me you will sound out this final loving exclaim:

If my loves’ muse had sprouted as fervently as age did fall upon her, the perfectness inside would have bloomed.
To fall in step besides those of famous stanzas:
But now gone from this future beside me, the word smiths shall see me
read them for only mode of the poetic word.
Hers for her rare adore.

By: K. Mulroney





Shakespeares Sonnet No 33


If thou survive my well-contented day,
When that churl Death my bones with dust shall cover,
And shalt by fortune once more re-survey
These poor rude lines of thy deceased lover,
Compare them with the bettering of the time,
And though they be outstripp'd by every pen,
Reserve them for my love, not for their rhyme,
Exceeded by the height of happier men.
O, then vouchsafe me but this loving thought:
'Had my friend's Muse grown with this growing age,
A dearer birth than this his love had brought,
To march in ranks of better equipage:
But since he died and poets better prove,
Theirs for their style I'll read, his for his love.'



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Reviewed by Elizabeth Price 12/6/2009
Awesome. Liz
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 6/18/2009
What a wonderful flow in this piece, drawing on the past, enlightening the present...

Be always safe,
Reviewed by John Flanagan 6/18/2009
Well done!
Reviewed by Regis Auffray 6/18/2009
A sonnet is not an easy form to write; in my humble opinion, you did very well. Thank you for sharing. Love and best wishes,

Reviewed by George Thompson 6/18/2009
You did a great job, Kim. I can't write sonnets; I've tried. Enjoyed this very much.

Reviewed by Felix Perry 6/18/2009
I think you did a wonderful job of this, for I agree with ET to try Well done.
Reviewed by E T Waldron 6/17/2009
You did a far better job than I could have...I imagine it must be very difficult to do a sonnet like Shakespeare,yet make it your own,and you did it, so kudo' to you KM!...ET

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