My house is a mausoleum of regret
It is so sad that I would feel for you
So much more than a decade of servitude
Could amount to in the end
That I would love you as if tomorrow could
Never manage to change my mind
And so I live just for sweet tomorrow
When you will kiss the scars of yesterday
& for an instant I will believe it will be okay
That I look into your eyes and I know
It isn’t just me lost in this crazy beginning
& my love isn’t as one-sided as you would have me believe
So I drink too deeply of hope in the moment because
How could I do any differently in this situation
When you hold in your hands the keys to
What I know brings me happiness
Forget all logic, you are the grapes of my wine
You are the high that I love more than alone
And your hands have touched more than flesh
Until I spill over into admitting that I care
It hurts to know that you could make or break my heart
That you could matter after years that didn’t matter
So I lie deep inside my being until I cannot lie to you
And I am here too real and exposed
Only to know that you don’t understand what I give
Or exactly what we might happen to be
But I can handle your hesitation because it only means
You will at least some day gave it real thought
And having been before barely second thought, I can appreciate
The bitter sweetness of being known more than that…