I hear a dozen different voices commenting
As I’m alone again to sort out my fears of you
I hear you’re running somewhere or nowhere or
& I forget just where we were to begin with
I’m out in the darkness of another starless night
Some octopus armed guy with a Cheshire smile
Stands in the shadows to try to talk to me
Saying if I was his girl I’d never be here alone
In that moment the ache for you becomes a wound
Pulling up a barstool & drowning out the neon light
I wonder how and why & what could have made me
Ever care so much what someone else does
The voices all around us never stop talking
Tearing us apart in so many words
Because it’s so much easier to just be alone
Our friends know me and you, but they can’t fathom us
The clock ticks slowly measuring the minutes
I want to think of anything but us missing the time
We used to take, the love we used to make
Before tearing it all into uneven pieces & scattering
My understanding out in jagged scraps on the floor
So I try to remember just how good it feels in your arms
Even though I’m already cold again & I don’t know when
They’ll be wide open & waiting for me
Somehow it all seems so silly that the days that pass
When I don’t see you seem so empty,
When I was just fine before I knew you,
I’d made my life carved out of the hollows
& I never feared empty days and nights of my perdition
Darts whiz out into the smoky air until I lose
My cool & I can only wonder why I am always waiting
For the days & nights where I am welcome in your heart
Looking out through the double panes of glass
Like a puppy dog in a window whimpering
Until I hate myself for this ridiculous wanting of anything
Outside of myself, outside of my own four walls
Your roommate is in my ear again and he’s cutting us
Down to little morsels & swallowing us whole
He’s always saying you’re probably not the type to hold on
So I’d better not be holding my heart in my hands
& then my heart is in my throat and I wonder just why
You’re not here to make them all stop talking us to death