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Frank Koerner

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Egging Me On
by Frank Koerner
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Frank Koerner
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           >> View all 100


A recent salmonella egg scare and recall affected 500 million eggs. My particular dozen were numbers 237,634,229,631 through 237,634,229,643. I got my money back. Then, I realized how much the egg means to our civilization. Here are some scrambled thoughts on an eggs-essentialist philosophy.....(not to be confused with an existentialist philosophy).



Copyright © 2012 by Frank Koerner   


For decades now our diet has been subtlely subverted,

Nature's ways have been by the cereal folks converted.

Breakfast foods in boxes are not brain food, merely fillers,

It's possible their constant ingestion produces serial killers.


The New World owes its discovery to a very creative thought.

Columbus balanced an egg on a table before Queen Isabella bought

His notion of a round world...(her ridicule of him was cruel).

"You're not egg-xactly brilliant. Should I hock a single jewel?"


Others tried to balance the egg and, of course, away it rolled.

Chris broke an end, stood it up, then off he sailed we're told.

The point here being a problem for a solution does often beg,

And that's why Little Rock, Arkansas owes its existence to the egg.


Colonial history's replete with tales about fighting British regs,

How we cooked up many victories by separating out some eggs.

In Boston our revolutionaries before one of their fabled fights,

Won with this clarion call, "Don't shoot 'till you see the whites!"


What's the best breakfast food? Chicken industry doesn't renege,

"It's a fallout from our main line, the oblate spheroid egg!

It's clearly food for thought, hens' heads not filled with rocks,

Else how would they always know to lay exactly 12 per box?"


So all you eggheads out there, eat eggs and don't be chicken.

At this year's Nobel Prize award, the plot might quickly thicken

And make you the winner. Your career then won't be through,

But if you continue the egg to renege, the yolk may be on you!


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