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Frank Koerner

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Featured Book
Object Marking in Japanese: A Self-study Programmed Lesson
by Robert Wood

This programmed, self-paced lesson focuses exclusively on the use of postpostions (ga and (w)o) with grammatical objects in the Japanese language without wavering or gett..  
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What a Crock !
by Frank Koerner
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Frank Koerner
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           >> View all 100




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For years, Betty Crocker helped Americans bake birthday cakes, cook Thanksgiving turkeys and serve nightly dinners. Or at least they thought it was she, the woman who has graced the box of scores of General Mills Inc.ís products for almost 80 years.

Not so. The director of the companyís food and publication center stated that it takes 50 people to do her work. Thatís how hard it is. The company also has a staff of 25 to 30 people, who answer about 300,000 consumer questions a year. Another myth has been shattered.


****************************************

General Mills now tells us Betty Crocker is a fake.

The woman, who for decades, showed Americans how to bake!

A composite corporate creation, in reality 50 souls,

Stiring feverishly behind the scenes in fifty different bowls.

 

And the woman there giving assistance with the pots and pan

Is a figment of imaginations, too. Top this one, if you can.

Aunt Jemima's visage on the box is next to pancakes stacked,

But is herself a little white lie. Or, is the lie she is all black?

 

Are we sure the Jolly Green Giant sorts out all those peas?

Or is he just a corporate image generating lots of fees.

And things with Tony The Tiger are rumored not that Jake,

In the Kellogg's Grr-reat Dept, he's Kellogg's resident flake.

 

Franco-American's Chef Boy-Ar-Dee is really an Italian guy,

And hoping to meet Sara Lee is searching for pie-in-the-sky.

Mr. Clean as a corporate hero is practically speaking dead,

We need a bold head cleaning and not a gleaming bald head.

 

There seems to be a pattern here, one that needs unfolding,

Are Glad Bags so darn happy 'cause it's profits they are holding?

Should we monitor these things, so as to gore the corporate ox?

Is the clown making the hamburgers really Jack-In-The-Box?

 

What is this hypocrisy going on? What appears a Communist plot

Is Capital's selling of heroes or….when you're hot, you're hot.

Relax. It's American advertising. A clever way to have a say.

What army is General Mills a general in? Just asking, by the way.

Copyright © 2011 by Frank Koerner

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Reviewed by Connie Faust
Oh, my heart, I can hardly take the shock!
My favorite hero is the Geiko Gekko...hope to meet him in person -- I mean, in lizard -- some day. So admirable is he!
I love the humor in this poem, although it shatters many of my former beliefs.

Connie
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson
I HEARD WHEN IN TEXAS THAT
Aunt Jemima LIVED IN HEARNE TEXAS. IF IT IS TRUE I DON'T KNOW.
HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR FRANK.
Reviewed by JMS Bell
I LOVED IT...! THANKS SO MUCH FOR SHARING THE ROADS THAT ARE TAKEN TO ACHIEVE THE...AMERICAN DREAM! LOVE, BLESSINGS AND FAITH...
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
Funny stuff. I will say though, the advertising isn't really effective on me except as a source of humor after I've endured it to the point of annoyance. Another thing, I'm a grown man (actually overgrown) but I still have an occasional can of the "Chef" and also Franco's Spaghetti-os with mystery meat sliced franks. Patrick
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
Pretty darn subservience if you ask me. Can't trust anyone or anything anymore. Next they're going to deflate my favorite hero, G.I. Joe, by telling it he was transgender. Oh Gawd!
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