No Longer A Victim
by Lavinia B Masters
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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A theraputic poem on my healing after sexual assault.
Why do I feel so embarrassed? Why am I so confused?
I did not want to be invaded…I didn’t ask to be abused.
Why is my self esteem so shallow? Why is my confidence destroyed?
I was a victim of a violent crime…I had no interest in men or boys.
My youth was literally stolen and my joy ultimately turned sad,
My world was completely turned backwards and boy was I mad.
I was more than mad at the world and dared to trust a soul
How can a man rape and assault a child that was only 13 years old?
I shielded myself from loved ones…was barricaded deep within my shell
I despised men with a passion and wished they all would just go to Hell!
I sought revenge from every man that I encountered…resented everyone that I knew
I was a ball of fire ignited by vengeance and with a hateful residue.
I burned because of a stinging anger…I burned because of a multitude of fear.
I burned because of loneliness and my vision of life left unclear.
I was in a world of desperation...crying for someone to come and help.
But how can anyone reach me when my will to live has left?
There are those that looked at me strange and some say perhaps I brought it upon myself
How can they be so cruel and make me feel as though I am the reason that Jesus wept?
Can I help that I have my mothers eyes and smile with my fathers dimples?
Or that at that time; I was small and fragile and lived a life that was oh so simple?
Am I the one to blame and place my own self in captivity?
No, I want and need to free, Lord grant me my liberty.
I want to walk under the clouds with a joyful song in my heart;
I want to smile and laugh with peace, But, Lord I need your help on that part.
Grant me a new leash on life, Lord restore your joy within me...
Give me a heart that’s open and receptive, I need a heart that is forgiving.
Help me to realize that I am no longer a victim but a conqueror in your eyes,
Grant me empowerment and the strength to remain focused on your prize.
Then allow me to share my experience with others, give me courage to share my story.
And I will be careful to give you the praise, Lord I will lift you up so that you may receive all the glory.
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|Reviewed by Louisa email@example.com
|The same shame, but now made whole in Jesus name.|
|Reviewed by wendell linder (Reader)
|Reading your article had given my strength to keep fighting to get my military record corrected. thank you and I wish the best for you.|
|Reviewed by Bill Grimes Jr.
|You have taken a very tragic and negative event in your life and made it positive.......offered hope and triumph to others with God's blessings........Stand tall and shout it from the mountaintop my friend! I admire your courage for taking a stand and making a difference in the lives of others.
|Reviewed by Regis Auffray
|Prayerful and inspiring, Lavinia. Love, peace, strength, and healing to you,
|Reviewed by Poetess of The Soul Sheila G
|I am a Survivor too Lavinia and I Praise your STrength through Gods love and Grace! YOur STrong and YOU NOW know to accept what is yours, Happiness and Peace! Enjoy! GREAT testiment! to the pain you ONCE felt! Don't let it take yOUr Power AWay... YOU Take control! Don't let that Person or events take your Control away from YOU! I won't! EVER again. WArm HuGs, and Enjoy! YOur upcomin' Holidays in Happiness and Peace! In Light and WArmth, Sheee -Sheila- OxO... P.s. Your therapy and belief in yourself, will help Others in many ways! Big and small!|
|Reviewed by Robert Harrison
I came to your page because my grandmother is a Masters from Worcestershire in England. I wished to find if there was any connection beteen us.
I was going to comment on your poem, but you know, I do not know what to say. At the age of 76 one would have thought that I could say something, but all that I can come up with is......"and only man is vile".
My love to you dear girl.
|Reviewed by Jackie (Micke) Jinks
|This is a beautiful poem, and testimony to your healing, courage, faith, and determination! You B-L-A-Z-E, girl!!
|Reviewed by Gwendolyn Thomas Gath
"No Longer A Victim"
Praise the Lord, you have survived!
A powerful work and testiment.
Now you can speak and spread the wonderful
love that God has restored within your soul.
The journey has been long, deep and you have been
rescued and it is quite a joyful blessing the words that
you can and now share with others.
I look forward to the debut of your book, Congrats!
Continued healing take care,
In peace and love,
|Reviewed by Michelle Close Mills
|This is a wonderful healing testimony Lavinia. Welcome to Authors Den!! Blessings, Michelle|