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H J Cruz

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Member Since: Nov, 2006

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Big Bucks from Tired Dumps
by Alan Greenhalgh

Easy to learn home renovation from the experts of DIY who have made excellent profits from bringing tired homes back to life...  
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Whoville/ Shmooville
by H J Cruz
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Recent poems by H J Cruz
•  Music
•  The Promise
•  2012
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           >> View all 32

Labelle challenge;
I know, I know, it's been a while. Life got in the way, but i'm over it :)



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Whoville/ Shmooville


H.J. Cruz



It’s a cinch you’ll want the Grinch when in a pinch!


If you want a good boy…get a Lab!


I’ve been fair; at times, but when I’m bad I’m better,

I’m just scratchy in this turtleneck sweater,

But when I’m sad I’m a real go getter,

All the better!


Now see here you whoville shmooville’s.

I don’t need Burly Ives and Natty Coles,

Plastic playthings, spirograph or GI Joe,

Rather cruise burmuda or catch a vegas show.

And don’t go look’n for me at Christ’s Mass,

Been there done that; this year I’ll pass,

I’ll be brewin a stew of sufferen succotash.

They’ll send cards & letters and hillshire farm,

Photos of strange children, protected from harm,

My rich Aunt Nelly’s obituary; oh what a charm.

If they want silent nights and peace on earth,

Just blow up a prison; return indigenous turf,

Better yet, start a petition to outlaw childbirth.

A colossal commercial; they’ll spend like fools.

That fat guy’s a phony, so if you want to be cool,

Join me & the grinch; I hear he’s got a hairy tool.

What’s that you say? That’s totally obscene?

Think we have pentacled foreheads come holloween,

Rather hang with big eared elves & swill Harveys Cream.


Oh come on all yee faithful, don’t you know santa only pays minimum wage, and the only reason they hang with the fat dude is cause we cut all there trees for decorating and they had no where else to go.


I know you want that touch of intangible whimsy,

But I’m here tell ya the whole thing is flimsy,

I mean sure there’s;

Egg Nog- Yule Log- Puppy dogs,

Holliday cheer- drinky beer-Joyful tears,

Flying home-front yard knomes-koda chromes,

Furry clothes-sentimental prose-Rudolphs nose,

Holiday lights-parking lot fights-googly eyed tykes,

O’l aings eign-pecan pie-gingerbread guy,

Christmas morn-wrappers torn-unicorn.


But what about;

New Years day-Bills to pay-IRS on its way,

Counting calories-Discount salaries-Vacant galleries,

Heavy snow-catching colds-frozen toes,

Damming beavers-cabin fever-neurotic bereavers,

Empty bowls-cultural woes-depressed souls,

Another years spent, paying lifes rent, atone or repent,

December/ dismember/ legal tender.


To join the grinch club send a $50.00 membership fee to;

The grinch club

Yada, Yada

Gobble, Gobble


Maybe we’ll call


Anyone caught steeling this poem shall be rewarded.

Don’t ask!





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Reviewed by Will Bates 4/28/2009
Wow, you have an amazing flow in this. Enjoyed! Thank you, Will
Reviewed by Tommy Thomas 4/6/2009
Keep this great writing up. Man it is smooth and taking you places. I like your style smooth and rythmical. Your bio says you so not have a sheepskin hanging on your wall. Believe me, you have one hanging on the inside of you my Brother. Take good care.

Reviewed by Walt Hardester 2/15/2009
Enjoyed this one.
Where do I send my fifty buckarollas?

Reviewed by Theresa Koch 2/7/2009
;) LOL~Teri
Reviewed by Sandie May Angel-Joyce 2/5/2009
A fun and interesting read! LOL!!! :)

Sandie Angel :o)
Reviewed by Victoria's Poetry & Voices of Muse 12/2/2008
lol...fantastic job!! lol
I do believe :)
Great Pic To Boot!!
Peace, Love & Poetry
Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader) 11/29/2008
Nice too read you dear man..great pen cute well and always safe...Hugs
Reviewed by E T Waldron 11/28/2008
hahaha!lol I always had a hidden soft spot for the grinch!;-)
Funtastic poem, even if I don't share all the sentiments!
Good to read you again,been too long...

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 11/28/2008
Apt and timely; thank you, H. Love and peace,

Reviewed by La Belle Rouge Poetess Of The Heart 11/27/2008
You are a trip, but I really can't believe you are a grinch! Brilliantly composed, it sped along like the Grinch's sleigh.
Reviewed by Georg Mateos 11/27/2008
We should parade in front of the fat dude paying minimum wages, maybe he uses all that money on 6 packs of Crown Royal Canadian Whiskey! ! !


Reviewed by Felix Perry 11/27/2008
HmmnnnnSANTA FEE is not happy with this guy at all, and just when I had figured out how to get that new flourescent orange car(to contrast with your lovely shade of green) onto my sleigh to bring to you on Christmas Eve. Gosh darn Mr Grinch now I have to reopen the coal mine and send the elves in just for you...

Santa Fee
Reviewed by Tom Kitt 11/27/2008
back in the groove HJ, a healthy dose of cynicism to slight them on their merry way. Excellent!!

Reviewed by Southern Comfort 11/27/2008
Goober! You is a cute hoot! HUGS! SC
Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 11/26/2008
Now this is one lighthearted twist and joy, full of fanciful fun and mischief, well said. Nice to have you back...

Be always safe,
Reviewed by Amber Moonstone 11/26/2008
Love this H J, great to read you again. Hope you are staying a while.
Much peace, love, and light,
Amber "V"
Reviewed by m j hollingshead 11/26/2008
enjoyed the read
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