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Axilea MU

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Gray Metal (Birds)
by Axilea MU

Sunday, November 14, 2010
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Axilea MU
•  Simply-fire
•  In Transit
•  Unended
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           >> View all 270

A dead metal bat
an ugly rain-spider
a strange encounter
for him tonight
a strange encounter
with no protection
on the pavement lies
a dismembered umbrella
the rain fell on his face
the memory fell on his path
a strange encounter indeed
she used to be a tall bridge
a water bird licked by the rainy wind
his body followed the rhythm
of her remembered steps
self-assured like a ticking clock
wet hair sticking to her cheeks
his heart beating faster exploding
air blown into a wind instrument
that produces a subdued sound
while deep inside
the image shocks
a flash a tingling sensation
cruel devoid of hope
metal structure broken
evidence that he stumbled upon
lifeless bird with a dark-feathered crest
nothing to collect
not much to salvage
just pure emotion
on his graying path tonight---

 

 

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Reviewed by William Bonilla 11/19/2010
Excellent write
Great imagery
most enjoyable reading
Reviewed by Paul Judges 11/18/2010
A splendid piece.
Reviewed by Amor Sabor 11/16/2010
Excellent imagery in these lines.
Reviewed by Gene Williamson 11/16/2010
Yes, Axilea, pure emotion beautifuly rendered.
This is to keep and to read again and again.
I love it. -gene.
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 11/16/2010
Like John, I too have accessed the intensity of mood and emotion via the "dismembered umbrella" and the brittle bones of the lifeless bird, metal or otherwise. Our synaptic responses are evidence that we are more than clockwork, more than recycled salvage. The comparisons do indeed realease that "pure emotion". You are effortless in painting the surreal. xx
Reviewed by Alan Abrams 11/16/2010
the images rise and pulse, catch a glint of light, and fall back into shadow. time is itself is unmoored from the clock, from the calendar, advancing and receding. just pure emotion--and sensation.
Reviewed by John Flanagan 11/15/2010
For me, Axilea, this work has a predominantly surreal quality and atmosphere, a dead discarded umbrella stripped to the ribs is the condition where our vulnerability is exposed and hope is gone.

John
Reviewed by JMS Bell 11/15/2010
THIS IS A TERRIFIC METAPHORIC WORK...THOUGHTS OF THOSE GRAY METAL BIRDS THAT ALWAYS SEEM TO SHOW UP...ESPECIALLY, WHEN IT RAINS. WELL DONE AND ENJOYED. THANKS FOR SHARING. LOVE, BLESSINGS & FAITH...
JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 11/15/2010
This speaks to the soul.
A journey into unexpected pain here, full of serious and powerful imagery.
Blessings,
Christine
Reviewed by Amber Moonstone 11/15/2010
Such vivid images collect in my mind after reading this poem. So well written and full of descriptive, emotional analogies.

Missed you,
Peace, love and light,
Amber
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 11/15/2010
Deep emotions are felt as this journey unfolded~
Reviewed by Liana Margiva 11/15/2010
EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Reviewed by jude forese 11/14/2010
surreal images enforce the existential fabric of this exploratory prosaic feat ...



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