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Axilea MU

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Member Since: Nov, 2006

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Inklusion
by Axilea MU

Monday, September 19, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Recent poems by Axilea MU
•  Simply-fire
•  In Transit
•  Unended
•  Anima-L
•  Glyph
           >> View all 270


An urchin under the sun
on a bare rock, falls apart:
I would never eat a tender heart
(once so strategically protected)
and never dream of incursion
into the fortress of livid bone,
inked and armed, ready!
Bleeding black teardrop at the tip,
of each (s)word, Unpronounced.

I pause in stillness.
No cry of pain. No “save me “
written on the sand, with spines.
Still, you hurt, slow agony.

I would never break the shell
where the pulp shivers;
divert my gaze and watch the tide
and the glittering sand instead…

How I wish I had never taken a walk today,
and almost found myself a part
of you, falling apart.

 


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Reviewed by Charlie 9/27/2011
Prickly in all his vulnerability--a paradox--so absolutely unhuggable, the only compassion we are allowed towards such is inclusion by mental osmosis and/or by sharing it in writing. I'm grateful for the "almost" in your last stanza. Also, I like your word plays with "word" and "sword", "inklusion", and "part"/ "apart". --Charlie
Reviewed by Phyllis Jean Green 9/25/2011
Excellent use of metaphor!!

What a gem this is, Axilea. Perfect in every facet.

Encore! ENCORE!!
Reviewed by Sandi Schraut 9/24/2011
The words express your reaction to the agony or pain of something so different and yet a part of life. What a lovely poem to express the connection we as humans should have with nature! Sandi
Reviewed by Jon Willey 9/23/2011
there exists in your work Axilea a need to surrender to the pain of this displaced creature -- compassion for its plight brought you to the brink of despair -- unable and unwilling to gaze away from the urchin's demise -- there is tenderness here that eluded me the first time I read it -- now the pain and suffering have surfaced and the compassion has swelled -- I admire the way you captured this event with a perspective often overlooked by casual observation -- I bid you love and peace my dear friend -- Jon Michael
Reviewed by Paul Judges 9/22/2011
A fine poem, Axilea
Reviewed by Morgan Merriweather 9/20/2011
a delicate strength in surrender.....Morgan
Reviewed by Brian Pellerino 9/20/2011
Now that"s poetry. Beautiful...no other word can suffice.

Brian
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 9/20/2011
Such depth in this cleverly crafted poem!
Blessings,
Christine
Reviewed by Christine Alwin 9/20/2011
wow..this touched me deeply and is one I am saving~
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 9/20/2011
YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! An "inevitable utterance" in my book, Axilea. Perfect in concept and exceptionally delivered. This is wonderfully felt and conveyed. A keeper! Love always, Kate xx
Reviewed by Gene Williamson 9/20/2011
So glad you took that walk, Axilea. -gene.
Reviewed by jude forese 9/20/2011
excellent analogy, Alexia ... painfully realistic ...
Reviewed by Felix Perry 9/20/2011
It is fascinating how nature can all too often parallel and metaphorize reality and our own day to day lifes. Well done Axilea, enjoyed.
fee
Reviewed by Liana Margiva 9/20/2011
BEAUTIFUL POEM!!!!!!!!!...'How I wish I had never taken a walk today, and almost found myself a part of you, falling apart'------I LOVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!! Liana Margiva
Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 9/19/2011
The world is a cruel place despite our best intentions. Still nature has its plan unless we intervene, usually a bad idea. I liked this one a lot. Patrick
Reviewed by D. Vaineo 9/19/2011
Axilea, "Inklusion", illusion? A look into aspects of love and the pain it can bring to both parties. Enjoyed!

Always,
Deborah
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 9/19/2011
Excellent! Dramatic. Hurtful. Very hurtful. I cringed. Wonderful writing. Sad subject. Cringed, I'm telling you.
Reviewed by John Flanagan 9/19/2011
Axilea,
i just can't write much,
this kills me, its beauty and pain.

John
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