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Love At Every Sight
by Karen Karslyan
Friday, November 24, 2006
Not rated by the Author.
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All people except Poets Are insane
The oppressive majority of all people are insane So their insanity appears sane
And when I revolt against this all-consuming insanity They think me insane
All Poets Are insane
Miracles exist Without a doubt And I am so sure of this As I am that had your nose been slightly more hooked The whole face of the earth would have been changed You are a feast
I wrote my first poem With my steps When as a student struck down by my mad infatuation I roamed the streets and alleys of my city Writing the long name of my beloved with the trajectory of my steps I wore out entire neighborhoods under my feet memorizing the sequence of the gigantic letters E V E L I N A
Within a few weeks I managed to cover The floor plan of an entire huge metropolis With a handwriting Rather a foot-writing That would send me straight to a psychiatric ward With a never before seen diagnosis: LINA
I longed to tickle her all over her body I longed to rape each one of her pores I longed to stand with her face to face And tie her long hair into one knot with mine With the sun pouring in through hair-thin cracks I longed to show her the world in my eyes I longed to see her just once past midnight And instead of the lunar phases I saw the flying half-moons of her nail clippings I longed to comb my hair with her fingers To use her paint-covered palms for painting my car I longed to rip out her long hair And replace with them the strings of my electric guitar I longed to become her three-dimensional geometric shape of choice I longed to drive my teeth through her tits And dangle from her nipple panting in rhythm with all of her knickknacks I longed to be at her house I longed to find her behind every opening door I longed to pull her vagina over me instead of underwear I longed to be her passwords I longed to look at the world through the earring holes in her ears I longed to become her achievable but unfading dream I longed to have her blow me behind the wheel of a speeding car I longed to be crucified on her body And in this way mix our bloods together for eternity I longed to watch her Meticulously brush my teeth with her long eyelashes And I was becoming a Poet
Baby I’m offering you a beautiful guy who creates beauty What more can you want? Or does my beauty-creational pursuit Indicate insufficiency of your consummate beauty?
She loved another A cliché story As trite as two and two is four
Everyone has abandoned you except yourself.
How I worshipped the hieroglyphics of her body movements
She was crazy about the moon She was barely nineteen And although she wasn’t one of those sentimental dreamy saps At night she liked to look at the moon for a long-long time Then it donned on me that I should become an astronaut And go to the moon to get my fill of her glances directed at “me” But I was destined to become An air traveler at best And instead of the moon
I flew to America Following in Columbus’s air-tracks I cabbed from New York to New Jersey Then Georgia To earn some dough for the first time in my life Menial labor Sleepless nights Depression Guns to my head and shooting some whiskey Exhaustion Hard overtime work Smoking joints Busting my ass The owner paid me each buck as generously As the prostate gland yields a drop of piss Fucking capitalists A few months later we rented a ride Loaded up on beer Shoved all that shit in the ass of the old Toyota And zoomed to the Atlantic To elevate the sea level with our hardened bodies Beach entertainment Beach volleyball with beautiful chicks playing like crap Shielding our eyes with colorful beach bikinis worn on our faces Chasing the shrieking chicks looking for their bikinis The summer sun tanning on Sizzling beach asses
Out of the ocean washing up the shores of the sand-covered town of Savanna The tide would throw us Wet to the bone With familiar unfamiliar girls and guys Into nightclubs We’d shake off the water The exclamation points of our toxic trips We moved mercilessly distorting da Vinci’s “Proportions of the Human Body” Hung out danced went nuts fucked but I kissed with the knowledge that I was spitting into those mouths At the club Mad Poseidon
I barely made it out of this bedlam of dancing and the crazy rhythms of the drum&bass I was shit-faced and at three in the morning I stood by myself on a very long bridge Shaky and unsteady like me And dreamed of how Lina unable to endure our separation would ask Amazon.com to caringly ship me into her arms NO PEDESTRIANS My feet took me against the wind away from the illuminated city into the remote darkness I knew that waiting for me on the other side of the bridge was South Carolina I could sense Lina moving on the other hemisphere Of the globe which was only a circus ball Rolling under her feet In the opposite direction of her careless steps I’d decided to take a solitary swim off a nearby Carolinian beach From time to time huge trucks rushed by The darkness ahead was frightening indeed And there was mysteriousness in this darkness So I left the drunken buzz behind I used to walk from one side of my city to the other To Love Street Where my beauty lived Pressing the walls of her house to my ears Deaf to the world I searched for her voice the domestic hustle and bustle At least a cough at least a burp at least the intestinal winds Now I walked alone in the dark on the other side of the world Over some shaky bridge My reason long ago knocked out by the powerful jabs of my heart It silently quivered like a beheaded white dove Look into its eyes Then I’d go visit one of my friends Bang on the door until somebody answered I’d drag him sleepy outside And amidst the winter frost passionately describe my emotional state Pouring nonsensical ideas into the steam coming off my lips From afar this bitter spectacle resembled an amusing comic strip A seagull flew up from underneath the bridge I would head unrelentingly into the Endless Night To get to South Carolina To the Mecca of my insatiable love That carried the cherished name K A R O L I N A The title of my first poem Composed of the syllables of our first names
When I stepped onto Carolinian soil I was startled Here I found distorted scenes from my poem “Karolina” “She and He in a convertible, a sleepy serpent’s leading them … straight to the devil’s den” In front of my eyes To the left of the road sign that read Welcome to South Carolina! Lay a huge snake run over by a car In a puddle of dried blood half the length of its body A little farther down the road Covered with years of dust a convertible car With flat tires I looked on for a while In cold sweat My blurred vision of a fervent atheist Revealed the emerging contours of God And I was becoming a Poet
I left walking backwards part of the way The scene was shrinking like burning paper And like a kitten that sees its own shadow for the first time I was meeting myself anew
I used to think that for me Poetry was only a way to express love But after this I clearly realized that For me Love was nothing more than one of the thousand ways to express Poetry And I was becoming a Poet Shouting to the world at the top of my lungs
Poetry is the only precious human quality All the others are nonsense
Love is the mother of philanthropy
I love you
East and West kept playing volleyball They exchanged a few dozen serves of the sun As I made my way homeward from America Tired and worn out
To distill Poetry from her indifference Like medicine from snake venom
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