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William A Smith, click
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Advanced Practice Nursing in Community
by Dr Carl Helvie
Modern versions of old nursery rhymes to fit PC
Jack and Jill were on the pill
So Mary had their little lamb.
We are so mixed up with this surrogate stuff,
That Red Riding Hood must now push the pram.
Little Jack Horner sits in the corner
Because the teacher cannot give him the strap
And Mary McCleary from Dallington dairy
Cannot say boo because of all the political flap.
The golliwog doll lies deep in a hole
His colour seems to upset the senses
Of the Rin Tin Tins that dwell within,
Our government of side saddle sitters on fences.
Little Miss Muffett sits on her tuffet
And throws her curds away.
She will now eat the spider that is sitting beside her,
For she knows he’s not modified in any GM sort of way.
Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall
Awaiting the day of coming retirement.
He waited long and sang a song
About the new blankety blank requirements.
Jack Spratt cleaned up all his fat
Before the welfare took it off him.
He built a house for him and his spouse
His chances of keeping it are looking slim.
The wicked witch of the west is welcome
In these Halloween infected times .
On the yellow brick road little love is showed
For Dorothy has been eating Lemons and Limes.
But Little Tom Thumb sets everything plumb,
When he turns from his lust filled ways.
He gives of his pie to big and small fry,
And changes the world as he prays.
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