The Tavern From Hell
There's a Tavern at the Gates of Hell
Where drinks are free and the food is swell,
Where girls are loose and the bar staff tight
And you can party day and night.
The choking smoke and constant din
Will often coax a traveller in,
And though there is no entry toll
The price to leave is a mortal soul.
A Liddiard boy whose name was Mark
Was skipping through the leafy park.
He noticed not the evil air,
For this one's soul was pure and fair.
"Come within and sup with me"
The fair maid cried enticingly.
"Well thanks" said Mark, all shy and red,
"I could do with a piece of jam and bread!"
So in he went to the Inn of Hades,
Amongst the rabble and loose young ladies.
Wine and song and a jolly old giggle
With a break now and then for a slap and a tickle.
For Forty nights he frolicked and boozed
When Old Nick came for his regular dues.
"Your soul to keep is my rightful duty"
All Mark said was "You Little Beauty!!!"
Mark stood up and faced the Devil
A bit unsteady and not too level.
"You want my soul to leave this place?
"You must be off your bloody face!!"
The Devil gave an evil leer
And said "Well Mark, you must stay here!"
With that Mark grinned and turned about.
"In that case, it's my turn to shout!!"
So if you hear a rebel yell
Coming from the gates of hell
It's only Mark, cheating fate
He went to Hell, it's really great!!!