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Oliver Thomas

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Tom Murphy's Goat
by Oliver Thomas

Saturday, May 26, 2007
Not rated by the Author.
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Recent poems by Oliver Thomas
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           >> View all 13

When Tom's wife died he bought a goat as a pet. This is what happened when the ab=nimal died. This is included in my book,Around the Campfire.

Tom Murphy,s Goat

There's a tale I would tell
of a man I knew well
Who lived in a shack with his missus,Old Nell.
But the dear lady died, took a heavenly ride,
Now what would he do? Only he could decide,
He was saddened and lost and alone.

Then fitzgibbons, the vet
said "Some folk have a pet
As a loving companion, it helps them forget.
Try a dog or a cat or a bird or a rat
Do you think you could live
with a creature like that?
It's far better than life on your own."

So Tom Murphy said "Right"
and he seemed almost bright
As he said "Twill bring comfort
in my lonely plight."
The vet made a note with a pen from his coat
When Murphy said "I've always fancied a goat
If you don't think it's too much to pay."

So enquiries were made
where all pets were displayed.
There were dogs, cats and birds
And a mantis that prayed,
White mice with pink eyes
and an owl very wise
But Tom said "I don't want a creature that size."
Disappointed they both walked away.

Then an ad in 'The Mail' said 'Angoras for Sale'
So Tom said "I'll go and enquire without fail."
Well that's what he did and came back with a kid,
And he said "Of my heartache, I soon will be rid
For at last I have found me a friend."

Tom lavished all care on that nanny so fair
And the years passed away without ever a care.
But the goat used o stray whene'er Tom went away,
Down there by the creek where the wild dingoes play,
And that's how the goat met her end.

One leapt at the goat and ripped open her throat
She departed this world without even a nore.
Poor Tom was distraught
And with grief overwrought.
Compared to his nanny, his dear wife was naught.
And he said "We must lay her to rest."

Now the lads said "What waste,
He has spoken in haste,
For a haunch of roast goat's meat
Is good to the taste.
Though we feel for the man and we'll do what we can,
But to bury the nanny is not a good plan.
A big funera;l pyre woyld be best."

The mortician then came; Joe Mc bride was his name
And the blokes in the town
Put him wise rto their game.
"I'll do it" said he, "but I'll double the fee
For you won't find a more honest planter than me
Unless you can double the rate.

Tom said to Mc Bride, "It's my nanny that died
Let's have us a wake for the whole countryside.
Let it be understood that a casket of wood
Will be made to hrr size " and McBride said he could
"But," he said "We had better cremate.

If she's under the ground dogs will dig up the mound
And her bones and her hair will be scattered around."
That changed Murphy's mind
"Don't do it" he whined.
"Let's have a cremation that's humane and kind
And we'll do my poor nanny goat well.

In the darkness of night
Without even a light,
Three figures drew near to the nanny goat white.
On the roadway they knew
Was a dead kangaroo
Which the gave in exchange for the carcass, oh phew!
For the roo was beginning to smell.

The day did them proud, there was nary a cloud
And Joe, in his suit, was surprised at the crowd.
"They respect me it's clear
For so many are here
And just look at the tables,
The food and the beer."
And he swallowed a lump in his throat.

It was such a fine day
And I hesrd Murphy say
"I didn't know folk were so friendly this way."
Then they cheered and they cried
For the nanny that died,
And the fellows who knew
Took it all in their stride
As they feasted on barbecued goat.
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Reviewed by Connie Faust 6/5/2007
Tom Murphy's Goat is a hilarious story! I knew I needed to read a couple of good "chucklin' poems" tonight before I did some serious work. You have quite an imagination.

Reviewed by Chantilly Lace (Reader) 5/26/2007
Oh my,LOL
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