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E. J. Farrand

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Masks and Illusions
by E. J. Farrand

Sunday, January 27, 2008
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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           >> View all 82

Some truths.

Imagination unbridled,
fantasies begin;
hopes evolving into dreams,
my reality covered up
by a cloak of illusion.

Truth was hard to digest,
it rarely became nourishment;
the draperies made of alcohol
gave me an outwardly strength.

Cloaked by invisibility,
I tried to disappear;
but I could not hide fast enough,
my reputation was always too clear.

False emotions
were the rules of the day;
I carried many masks with me
for the various acts of this play.

Total emersion,
never let them know me,
'twas better that way than
risking the inevitable rejection.

Sometimes became needed,
someone would get too close
and I'd have to push away,
but never too far that I couldn't get them back--
I needed them but I was afraid to say.

Facing my reality
meant losing my protection,
no going back once entered
no mask to hide behind;
who is this guy
they would wonder,
what is happening in his mind?

In my illusions
enhanced by fantasies,
there were those who loved me
creating my false happiness,
but underneath lay fears;
that love would be replaced
leaving me with emptiness.

This didn't serve me well,
this shielded life I led;
I've dropped those defenses
and tried to just be me,
sometimes it's been so painful
and yes some shy away,
but this is what I'm trying to be--
just a simple, honest man.

I feel some other emotions now,
some are hard to take;
it would be easy to duck behind the screen
but I've been down that lonely trail once before,
today it's a choice I just won't make.


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Reviewed by Axilea MU 5/21/2008
How honest! This poem holds the beauty of a heart
that has learned to show the hurt. Not an easy task.

Reviewed by Jean Pike 1/28/2008
I carried many masks with me
For the various acts of this play...

Friend, you said a whole mouthful there.
I really liked this poem. A lot of truth to it.
Reviewed by LadyJtalks LadyJzTalkZone (Reader) 1/28/2008
Learning where to be yourself is a skill of this life. Fantasy like dreams are there to fill the void or time inbetween the real events of life which surely are painful sometimes. Knowing the difference is another skill one would be well adviced to master. I find reality safer though not as much fun only because I know what to expect. Good write. Lady J
Reviewed by D Johnson 1/28/2008
I think you've just written the stories of our lives. Well done!

Reviewed by Mr. Ed 1/28/2008
but this is what I'm trying to be--
just a simple, honest man.

Many wear many masks these sad days, my friend. But I truly think your goal is the best one, and I, too, now strive for that.
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