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I turn off lights,
turn down the ac
brew some coffee,
though I know it won’t help
I drink it anyway

I gasp for breath
(why does it seem like it's sucked from my chest?)
and brace myself
for another round of head-splitting pain.

I lean against the cold fridge
wishing my head would stop its pounding
(right here over my left eye,
and in the very back just to the right of center)
wishing the world would stop swirling
drinking this awful stuff
doctored with cream and sugar and asprin
hoping my stomach will stop fighting
taking a deep breath,
as if for courage more than anything else,
wishing that pounding, clattering, clacking noise
would just go away.

rubbing my temples, pressing as hard as I can
bent over, praying to God,
please, just let this pass.
sitting on the floor next to the vent
opening the buttons on my shirt
drinking the coffee
praying to God
willing this pain to go away.

it’s hot in here, this coffee is cold now
I just want to sleep
sleep will make everything better
and when I wake
(please God, don’t let me wake
if I wake, this will return tomorrow)
and when I wake,
I’ll wonder what was so bad after all?