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D L Johnson

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Guy A Fly-Private Detective
by D L Johnson

Sunday, July 10, 2011
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Recent poems by D L Johnson
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Dry, silly humor, but humor it is. dlj

Guy A Fly-Private Detective and owner of Fly on the Wall Detective Agency
Dan Johnson
© July, 2011

It was a dark and rainy night in Portland I was hired by Pearl Peach, a member of the Freestone clan and a dame of much distinction who convinced me to find her little cousin April Apricot by rubbing her soft smooth skin against my body (low bluesy saxophone music inserted here for dramatic affect) she’d gone missing two days earlier. Even though it was raining and the wind was picking up, I flew in the direction April has last been seen (really hot guitar licks inserted here) I soon found myself in the kitchen of the Weeping Willow Restaurant where I immediately became the fly on the wall. To my dismay I soon found what I was looking for…on the counter was a note that read “Tonight’s Salad Special” a Fun Festive Fruit Salad, including April Apricot, Babs Banana, Bob Blueberry, Sherry Cherry, Gus Guava, Lenora Lemon, Louie Lime, Marvin Mango, Nadine Nectarine and last but not least Pearl Peach and Stuart Strawberry, all had been snatched and made ready for the slaughter. I had to do something…what could I do? My wings fluttered furiously then I calmed down and remembered I have “Super-Fly” powers, I can do this, I will save the day…I drew deep within my senses and brought out my mystical, magical manly mighty voice and with all my will I shouted…Health Department! And while the chef was distracted looking for the guy from the health department, I called on my super fly powers one more time and allowed all the aforementioned fruits to wonderfully fly away, with me in the lead.
Another case solved by Guy A Fly, Private Detective.



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Reviewed by William Bonilla 7/17/2011
well done Dan most enjoyable reading
Peace be with you

Reviewed by Regis Auffray 7/13/2011
Nicely done, Dan. Thanks for sharing. Love and peace to you,

Reviewed by Patrick Granfors 7/12/2011
Clever indeed. I was beginning to anticipate a fly swatter ending but super fly wins in the end! Patrick
Reviewed by Jon Willey 7/12/2011
Dan, a delightful homogeneous fruity frappe of wordy wizardry my dear friend. You permitted my imagination to fly with you. I bid you love and peace. Jon Michael
Reviewed by Myrna Badgerow 7/11/2011
This is excellent! But how do I get the image of flying fruit out of my head I truly enjoyed this.. fun and since dry humor is my favorite you had me from the first word...
Reviewed by Kate Burnside 7/11/2011
This is excellent, punchy, innovative prose, Dan! I really think you're on to something here! A series if ever there was one. More please - really enjoyed! :)) xx
Reviewed by Annabel Sheila 7/11/2011
Giggle....this is hilarious!Imagery is a blast!

Reviewed by Mr. Ed 7/11/2011
Good Work, Guy! (Nice Story, Too!)
Reviewed by John Flanagan 7/11/2011
Love it, Dan, love it!

Reviewed by E T Waldron 7/10/2011
Bravo,DL! A unique and very comical poem with very catchy names!

Reviewed by Debby Rosenberg 7/10/2011
(insert applause here)very entertaining :)
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader) 7/10/2011
Raymond Chandler is turning over in his grave. Not one sexy secretary with big .. . . er . . . ideas. Not a sidekick who ie always in the way and a doofus. And last, but surely not least, no captain of the police to berate the fly detective. Shameful!

Actually I love it. You did the genre. . . er . . . I liked it, I surely did. Haha! Gotta love it.
Reviewed by Christine Tsen 7/10/2011
What a wonderfully quirky and hilarious write!
Blessings, :)
Reviewed by Susan Bergeron 7/10/2011
Reviewed by Walt Hardester 7/10/2011
A real "Peach" of a write Dan.
thanks for the smile.

Reviewed by TONY NERONE 7/10/2011
A real beaut, Dan. A fly on the wall made me smile.
Reviewed by Chip Bergeron 7/10/2011
Dashiell Hammett would be proud of you!!!

Chip Bergeron
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