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D L Johnson

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Out Of Sync
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One serial killer. One Forensic Psychologist determined to bring him down. Will the secret he knows about her past be what finally breaks her?..  
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Pay Day Loan
by D L Johnson
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Rated "G" by the Author.
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Totally tongue in cheek-dlj

 Pay Day Loan
Dan Johnson
© July, 2011
Being an independent voter allows me the opportunity to poke fun at both sides of the political aisle with tongue in cheek and a mischievous smile.

September 2, 2011, One month after the President of the United States and Congress failed to reach an agreement on raising the debt limit.

“I’m sorry sir, I have bad news” The young man smartly dressed remained calm as the manager of Speedy Loans nervously explained, “You have a combined credit score from the three reporting companies of 396, that’s horrible.” Still the young man remained calm and left the Speedy Loan office to his awaiting limousine, where he picked up the phone and reported “I’m sorry Mr. President but Speedy Loans turned us down, again.” There was an eerie quiet on the phone line, when an automated voice interrupted and said, “You have 2 minutes and 30 seconds remaining on your phone card.”

When the Treasury Secretary returned to his office his secretary handed him a sealed envelope and all she said was, “Someone from the Chinese Embassy dropped this off while you were out.”

In the privacy of his office he read the contents of the envelope:

'Dear Mr. Secretary of the Treasury, your government is once again 60 days late on your loan payment. We urge you to make arrangements to bring your account current'…blah, blah, blah.

The report was thrown onto a pile with all of the other late notices.

Meanwhile back at the office of the Speaker of the House.

“Mr. Speaker, last month’s labor and economic reports are in and, well, sir, the numbers are not in our favor.” The young aide began reading the highlights of the reports. Unemployment 14.7%, Loan defaults are up 33%, Bankruptcy’s up 51% nationally and in Ohio they went to 62%...should I go on?” The Speaker thought for a moment, then reflecting to his aide, “The good news is that we stood our ground in not raising the debt ceiling, now the American people just need to learn how to tighten their belts and live within their incomes.”

September 3, 2011, the guy on the six o’clock news reported; unleaded gas has skyrocketed to $8.77 per gallon. The National Wholesale Bakers Association announced that the cost of a loaf of bread on Thursday would be $6.50 for a 16oz loaf of white bread. Earlier today the Secretary of the Treasury reported that the Republic of China has taken steps to claim the amount owed to them for outstanding loans by securing the State of New Jersey in lieu of one month’s payment. Have a nice night.

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Reviewed by Patrick Granfors
This is a crackup. Reality is the best form of humor even when it hurts. Patrick
Reviewed by Regis Auffray
It's a chaotic and messy and sad situation all over, Dan. Thank you. Love and peace,

Reviewed by Chip Bergeron
This is what happens when politicians have more ideology than good sense.

Chip Bergeron
Reviewed by Lowell Bergeron
Great, Dan. I'm non party. I told the girl at the Registar's office I didn't want to have anything to do with the major parties.

Remember Alan Simpson from Wyoming? He called us (senior citizens, I'm 64) greedy because we wanted a raise. I'm from Southwest Louisiana and there are people down here on the Obama 2012 band wagon. Some people can't see light if it was stuck up their ...
Reviewed by Jon Willey
Dan, you did the current political debacle poetic justice my dear friend. My only comment is that politics is no longer a dirty business. It is the most egregious business on the planet. Our political persuasions are the same I note. I bid you love and peace. Jon Michael
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
Thats it, give them NJ, it ain't worth that much anyway...good laugh here,but then again, I think we just be heading in this direction for real...
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
The Speaker thought for a moment, then reflecting to his aide, “The good news is that we stood our ground in not raising the debt ceiling, now the American people just need to learn how to tighten their belts and live within their incomes.”

It always amazes me whenever our millionaire politicians think people who actually work for a living are eagerly waiting in line to 'tighten their belts, and live within their incomes.' God Forbid any rich American should have to pay a little more in taxes.

And this really depressed me until I heard the Chinese want New Jersey - let them have it!!!
Reviewed by George Carroll
How sadly true and I hop[e this Nation is around for next election day or will we have a dictator which it seems we have now.

Reviewed by Marcia Miller-Twiford
All I can say about this great write is "I didn't vote for him." And about all the hallabaloo about finding the Pres' birth certificate: The should stop looking, he wasn't born, he was hatched. Snakes do lay eggs, don't they?
Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
This was will done, but I admit to reading it with a sort of hurt in my heart, or, it could be indigestion maybe, still it was there. The reason for the hurt is the fact that the American people elected a man who is hell-bent on destroying America's greatness. This greatness was already tattered by the last few presidents and congress, but the maniacs in charge on the hill now are not going to stop until we are destroyed.
Reviewed by Myrna Badgerow
A friend of mine who receives SS was asked the other day on the local news what she would do if she didn't receive her benefits on the 3rd as she is supposed to and couldn't pay her power bill. She said without missing a beat 'I'll tell the power company to file a claim with the government.'... Everyone who heard her applauded.. She's a hoot I tell ya. She's been disabled for ten years due to a car accident (hit by a drunk driver head on... drunk driver with no insurance), suffered severe head trauma but I'm telling ya she doesn't miss a beat...LOL
Great job on this one, my TD... loved it!
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