Don't Go There
by Southern Comfort
Tuesday, May 29, 2007
Rated "G" by the Author.
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We all have um, Pet Peeves! Here are a few of mine, see if you can relate!
This is the ode to Pet Peeves, that make life bleak,
They make Ya loose control and totally freak.
Why can't folks keep their noses in the middle of their faces,
Instead of in other folk's business, where they have no places.
Commercials bout improvin body odor, hey, give it a rest!
Don't stick nothin by my nose, expectin a whiff test!
Don't care bout no close-ups on bare asses, don't aim to count no hair,
If Tv folks wants to bump uglies, I don't care bout bein there.
I'm no cotton pickin armchair quarterback, don't wanna watch it on TV,
Only wanna be involved in the Wild Thang, when it involves me.
Don't wanna watch no operations bein done on a doctor's show durin dinner,
They make me puke, I don't count them a winner!
More thangs to make me flip my lip!
Mamas that are blind, deaf and dumb, when it comes to their kid!
The kid is goin bonkers, she don't see a thang,
She's grinnin like a goose, I think she's lost her brain!
Her and little demon's visit is your worst nightmare, it makes Ya sick,
They both need a tude adjustment, a swift kick.
Preachers that scream at you till they faint,
They are gonna scream Ya into heaven and make you a saint.
Folks that will always pee on your parade,
Folks that cut your heart out, just to see your grin fade.
Folks that watch Ya screw-up and then say," I knew you were gonna do that!"
You gotta get your cool, afore you grab a baseball bat!
While shoppin at Walmart, someone has just cut reeky cheese,
Your nose hairs catch fire and the smell buckles Ya to your knees.
You wonder how someone could smell like that and not be dead!
This is one time you'd wished you'd lost your sense of smell, cause of a cold in yore head.
Sales folks that call Ya then lie like a rug,
You'd like to send your fist down the wire and punch them in the mug.
Mother-in-laws that say their son could have done better,
You'd like to deliver a judo chop to her gogetter.
Folks that swear Ya to secrecy, sayin" Don't breath a word!"
In fact you couldn't find someone to tell, cause they've already heard!
Cowards that attack through e-mails to give your computer a worm,
You'd like to pull out all their pubic hairs to see them squirm!
Folks that hand Ya outdated food to taste or smell,
As the ordor hits your nose, another innocent was felled.
Husbands that pee while blowin taps,
You just grin as your ass chaps.
Havin had the call, to the bathroom you caper,
Then you discover that there is no toilet paper!
While you are eatin someone blows their nose or hocks up a noogie,
That makes Ya wanna say," Step outside we're gonna boogie!"
People that push your buttons and do it with flair,
The kind Ya always gotta tell," Hey Man, Don't Go There!"
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|Reviewed by Silent Dream
|Ah, this was great! Brought me to tears lol. LOve this and your style sprinkles giggles throughout the insight ;) ((Hugs and LOve)) ~yourDreamyGal|
|Reviewed by Georg Mateos
|My dear "cotton picking armchair quarterback": if you have something to say...say it!!!!!!!! Oh, you did? let me see, Don't Go There!!!!
This poem put a big smile in my face, like stuffing it with happiness.
|Reviewed by little blue angel
|oh shit I am laughing my ass off I saw myself saying so many of these samethings.love ya blue angel|
|Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson
|LOL, I can relate to some of these you wrote...
and you made it all ryhme...
People who try to break in line at Wal-Mart
People who re dedicate their life to God every
Sunday and then stay high the other days...
People who are real nice and know me when they
want something, but out in public they can't even say hello
after I've said hello.
Love this write...
|Reviewed by Michael LaSalle
|You! are such a Genuine poetic Genius, p.a wow, this piece completely
took me to the depth and back, your perspectives are absolute glory in regards to insight, as well as perfected expression, thank you so very much for sharing your brilliance with the den, Love this Masterpiece Poetess~ love ya, mike
|Reviewed by Lewis Findley (Reader)
|LADY GODIVA SAYS AMEN TO THAT!!!!!!!!!|
|Reviewed by Lydia Shutter (Reader)
|I am hysterical laughing here, PA. You look so purty up there on your soapbox, GF! LOL I have some of the same pet peeves and you presented them so well. You are clever and witty. Lydi**|