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April Pittman

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My Last Mistake
by April Pittman

Monday, December 13, 2010
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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Recent poems by April Pittman
•  Tabula rasa
•  Isochronal
•  Dear Father,
•  All Gone
•  May We?
           >> View all 212

My life fans and spreads outward
your absence creating an old woman of me
what was once contained tightly
becomes loose and amorphous
careless and gelatenous
leaking into other channels
to embarrass those around me
with the evidence of my decline
I burned your letter in the fireplace
so that I could inhale you into my lungs
rich, acrid, stinging pain
that brought tears to my eyes
and now I recreate that ritual daily
just pause at random moments
to suck you deeply into me
so that I can feel the betrayal
in short, manageable bursts
this is the most defining moment
the most life-altering hurt
that I've ever been thrown into
and no one else can know about it
so on the outside I harden more
with each day I press through
while internally I'm dissolving
always wondering when my contents
will break through this brittle shell
and leave me and my heartache exposed
even with all the world gazing at me
and the curious disaster I've become
you will still be the one living person
who fails to see what you've done.

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Reviewed by Karen Palumbo 12/13/2010
A difficult life lesson, but now is the time to grow stronger and move forward, never to look back...

Be always safe,
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK 12/13/2010
Whole Idea Now Is To Walk Away Never Look Back,i.e.It Will Only Destroy You...

Nice To Read You Again...

Reviewed by John Flanagan 12/13/2010
This wasn't easy to say and I admire your courage to be able to deliver; yes, it's hard, hard and painful, but you must go on and know that you have the love and support of so many.

Reviewed by John Bidwell 12/13/2010
A mystic description of pain.
You did an awesome job here- awesome.
The heart that can feel this deeply must see it's own reflection- and your love will be the fire that gives off only smoke.

Reviewed by pat medlin 12/13/2010
pain-wracked words...too raw to bleed even,...and i too am sorry that you're experiencing the pain to be able to write these wrenching words.
Reviewed by William DeVault 12/13/2010
Hard, harsh and unflinching. It is a cry and a roar. Very proud of you that you can express so well what I am sad that you are feeling.

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