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Peter J. Oszmann

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Member Since: Dec, 2001

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Books
· Jew Be or Not Jew Be; The Story of a Perpetual Alien


Short Stories
· Stories about my childhood, my Mother and her family.

· The Butterfly Effect (Repost) Revised

· A living, breathing abstract art…- (Satire)

· Christmas Miracles.

· The Anniversary.

· Traces In The Air - A story of Meaningful Coincidences.

· A Bar of Chocolate… and a Smile…

· You'll cry where no one will see you.

· Professor Somersault knows it all.

· Travel Diary USA - Canada. 1995.


Articles
· About the Book -“Remember Us”

· About dicks and arseholes.

· Dotcomology

· Bringing up kids.

· Blogito, ergo sum.

· 2 Blog Or Not 2 Blog.

· Terrorism, martyrdom: A "Jew-ish" perspective.

· Ruminations…

· Who needs Love?…

· Thoughts… just thoughts… Part 2


Poetry
· Once upon a time - Sonnet

· A stroll in the autumn glow - Sonnet

· Autumn Requiem

· Hallowed be Thy name…

· After sunset - Sonnet

· Why visit museums?

· Searching for your face in the clouds – Sonnet

· Ideal Man – Ideal Woman

· Tanabata - Sonnet

· A Moment On a Summer’s Day… - Sonnet

         More poetry...
News
· Magda's Daughter : A Hidden Child's Journey Home

· Author Interview at Phoenix Book Reviews.

· Review of "Jew Be or Not Jew Be; The Story of a Perpetual Alien" at Phoenix Book Reviews

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Books by Peter J. Oszmann
  Angelic Story. (To all at AD for Christmas.)
by Peter J. Oszmann
Wednesday, December 22, 2004
Rated "G" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Peter J. Oszmann
•  Once upon a time - Sonnet
•  A stroll in the autumn glow - Sonnet
•  Autumn Requiem
•  Hallowed be Thy name…
•  After sunset - Sonnet
           >> View all 256


The “absolutely true ” story about how the Angel got on top of the Christmas tree.


 


 


 (Parental guidance recommended for kids under age 85 reading this story.)


 


“HO! HO!” - said Santa – “Christmas’s in the air.


We better get ready, I do declare.


Get the sleigh loaded and off we shall go,


To deliver all the Christmas cargo;


Let me crack my whip over Rudolph’s butt!”


These were very brave words to utter, but


‘T was a bad night, a night to remember,


An awful night, way back in December;


A snowstorm was blowing in Fairyland,


Snow drifts were everywhere, icy roads and


Fallen trees were blocking almost all roads.


Santa’s sleigh was creaking under the loads,


Two red nosed reindeers were down with the flu,


The elves were creating real ballyhoo,


One little angel’s wing got scorched real bad


And Mrs Santa just stayed in her bed.


Santa had a fall in his bungalow


Hurt his knee badly, swore a lot and so


- Having trouble with his menagerie -


He had started late with delivery.


He was cross even before they started


And shortly afterwards they departed


He had good reason to get more upset,


Finding on his seat a dead marmoset.


Few minutes later one reindeer got lame,


With no one around to accept the blame.


Then another deer’s foot got caught in trap


And his favourite deer pooped on his lap.


Santa was swearing and tearing his hair,


Wishing into hell the whole sad affair.


He could hardly wait to get himself home


When Mrs Santa called on his cell-phone,


Telling him he forgot one small present,


Which would only set a bad precedent.


To cut a long story finally short,


Santa got home grumpy. With a loud snort


He poured a whisky and sat in his chair,


Ready to relax and let down his hair,


When a little Angel, with Christmas tree,


Walked into his room rather abruptly.


“Santa”– with concerned face the Angel said -


“I’m left with a tree and it looks so sad.


Where shall I put it? It does look so bare”…


…So Santa swore at her and told her where…


 


And a Merry Christmas to you all!  Please hear my plea!        


 


To help an Angel in distress… please remove the tree!!!!


 


 


© P. J. Oszmann  (2003) Revised and reworked (2004)


© Illustration created in Photoshop (2004)


 


The Festive Season is a time for good cheer and merriment and therefore I decided to be frivolous, rather than to leave a “serious, meaningful” poem and greeting for the season. Just try to enjoy it, as it is; if you can’t well, tough luck!


 


Last Christmas I retired from professional life.


 


If what went on during the last year is what retirement was supposed to be, than give me work!


 


This Christmas I am retiring from retirement.


 


Although I have not been able to decide - so far - what I am going to be when I grow up, I decided that it might be better to do something more productive in the meantime, rather than just washing the dishes, vacuuming the carpets and attending to family matters. At age 71 it is still too early to make a final decision about what I should be, or what I should do, so in the meantime I am just starting a new business venture… just for the heck of it… That way I can justifiably postpone the real decision…


 


Please don’t wish me luck… wish me a little brain or sanity instead! (Mind you, I always maintained that it was my insanity that kept me sane!)


 


In return I wish all of you Authors and Readers here at AD all the best for the Festive Season combined with the very best wishes for a Happy, Healthy, Peaceful, Prosperous and Successful New Year.


 


I also wish to express my thanks and gratitude to all who ever left a review/comment under any of my works and especially those of you who keep returning and reading. Thank you very much!


All your comments are much appreciated.


 


A very-very special thank you and my sincere gratitude to all of you who read and support my daughter’s work  (Andrea Hale) here at AD. You have no idea what difference it made to her in the last year.


 


Thank you all from the bottom of my heart!


 


Jew Be or Not Jew Be


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Reviewed by Mitzi Jackson
hahahahahahhaha
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner
(((peter)))

so that's the way it happened--a magical tale, beautifully written

since you don't want luck, i wish for you sanity :) and health and prosperity (is that okay??)

may 2005 be your best year ever

(((HUGS))) and love, karla.

thank YOU for all of your encouragement and prayers :)
Reviewed by Mary Quire
Cute!!! I enjoyed it very much.

M.Rose
Reviewed by Daniel McTaggart
Now Peter, if you had any brains or sanity, you'd have an unfair advantage over the rest of us. Merry Christmas to you and Andrea.
Reviewed by Tracey L. O' Very (Reader)
These are really cute. Poor Santa and all that goes with Christmas fun. I wish for you & your family all the Best things that life has to offer and peaceful days all days. Don't stress too much about the brain and sanity as I've lived many years without either one and I think I'm 1/2 way happy and doing ok. Seems to me that way anyway. ---I made it this far. : )--- Merry Christmas Blessed Years. Thank You as well for taking the time for me. I truly enjoy your writings. Thanks fer the hint on the Angel I need to make some kinda good points.
Tracey
Reviewed by June Thompson
haha this was funny

thanks for you comments

wishing you a very merry christmas and a wonderful new year

I am with you "insanity kept me sane"
Reviewed by Ed Matlack
So thats the way the angel got up there...and a happy Holiday to your and yours as well, Peter...Find peace and sanity, Ed, Rene & Rufuz
Reviewed by Cynthia Borris
That was great! Happy Holidays!

Cynthia
Reviewed by Michelle Kidwell Power In The Pen
A great write here, very funny
God bless
Michelle~
Reviewed by Mr. Ed
Please don’t wish me luck...wish me a little brain or sanity instead!

Alrighty then - Wishing you both, Peter - and as far as your story goes - HO HO HO!
Reviewed by Judy Lloyd (Reader)
Okay this sounds like the reasons why Bubba Do Good Became the replacement Santa.
Reviewed by Lori Moore
Wonderful write, Peter. Merry Christmas and happy unretirement.
Reviewed by E T Waldron
Thank you for this hilarious story! It made me laugh
and will keep a smile on my face all day, after reading
your retirement comments;-)LOL May you be blessed in all you do!
I didn't know Andrea was your daughter, you are fortunate, she
is a wonderful person, and talented poet. YOu must have done something right;-)!
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