“Iacta alea est.” *
/ (Julius Caesar, at the crossing of the Rubicon)
When sweet Ruby Kohn reached the Rubicon
Her knickers were truly ablaze.
Across the wide lawn, as if it were drawn,
Stretched an army like human maze.
As she went across she became quite cross,
To the point of feeling ill;
It seemed that the Boss would not give a toss
About marching, or standing still.
“Please tell me dear Sire, what is your desire?
Are you marching or staying put?
My knickers on fire, your prospects are dire,
If you stay here to pussyfoot.
Your men lose their dicks, ‘less I teach them tricks,
In my belly and pants there’s fire,
They’re mice without wits, unless fondling tits;
Let me entertain them good Sire.”
“What you say isn’t nice, my men are no mice.”
- Caesar answered with a stern grin –
“Your loin’s paradise may be full of lice,
Which could give my men itching skin.
To be more precise, keeping it concise,
What I need is good discipline.
I don’t need advice; we will cast the dice,
After I had a tot of gin.”
“What is needed here are barrels of beer
For your men and a song to sing;
That would bring good cheer and some atmosphere,
So they can march without halting.”
“Trying to entice me, not once but twice,
Is something I truly detest.
This whole exercise is ‘bout sacrifice,
To put fighting men to the test.
My heart is like ice; victory’s my prize,
I will lead my men to conquest.
You can keep your vice; I will cast the dice.
We go: Iacta alea est.”*
© P. J. Oszmann (2004)
© Illustration created in Publisher & Photoshop (2004)
** “Iacta alea est” = The dice is cast.