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Leo Durrant

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Member Since: Jul, 2007

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Top Down
by Leo Durrant
Rated "PG" by the Author.
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           >> View all 26


Come join me. 
We'll put the top down and
drive
down Mourning Blvd towards


Oblivion.

You can undo your hair and
let the wind comb and uncomb it
from the top, down


(t a n g l e . . .
      u n t a n g l e.
   r a v e l . . .
          u n r a v e l.)


until it pulls so hard the roots
hurt
and you can let your cares
 s
          l
                     i
                                 p
through the loose roots until they escape
out of your head
and we'll leave them in our wake.


We'll pass your work.
         (you can leave one there)
We'll pass the bank.
              (leave another there)
We'll pass the cemetery.


Keep that one.

Put it in your pocket for later
and we'll drive through the foothills
to the top of that hill behind the
hospital
and we'll watch the
freeway shoot out of the top of the
hospital
spilling its carnage of
lights and traffic and worries and death
for miles southward.
And we'll look at things from the


top down

to make them seem smaller.
And we won't say a word --
we'll just let Thom Yorke tell us How To Disappear Completely.


                We're not here.
                This isn't happening.


Then I'll lend you my shoulder
and my heart
and we'll be
just us.

  



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Reviewed by Axilea MU
There is something very intimate that remains symbolic in this poem. I would even say that part of the imagery is very surreal.
Feelings come out of somewhere and not so innocently.
They're made of love and death, worries and a world turned upside down... until we all disappear one day, don't we?

I don't know about the "song aspect", I read this as a poem.

Until next time,

Axilea
Reviewed by l West (Reader)
I love this. I can feel it. I agree with Charlie. You need to check around for a musician, do you know any? Linda
Reviewed by Charlie
I love this poem. I think it would also make great lyrics set to music with a little refrain. It would not harm this poem one iota to have the title repeated at the bottom either. I know the song you mentioned too...
The whole piece has great atmosphere.
Keep writing
Char
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
Splendid!

Ron
Reviewed by William Cryer
Ho ho ho. Being Christmas and all, I thought I'd stop by, ;) Your poem makes me happy. Makes my jiggle quiver from top down. And as I'm now a Kringle, that says a lot. Keep them coming...I'll expect a lot of 'em next Christmas when I come back, or no presents for you! Mho ho ho!
Reviewed by Karen Vanderlaan
such an interesting way to say such sweet and loving things-sounds like a wonderful invitation!
Reviewed by blue soplain
i love the pure aesthetics of this; the driving force nehind the images.. .feel the wind ripping through the words. ..
loverly~
ness
Reviewed by Michael Guy
very cool poem for sure; nice driving!
Reviewed by Chuck Keller
You have an impressive talent. Great work!
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