Things are not as they should be. They haven’t been since Lady Di went into that tunnel. I’m not saying that because I’m a DI-hard DI-fan, but only because that’s when I first noticed a “rift in the force.”
No, things are not as they should be. “Passengers, I think we’ve hit a bit of turbulence; a bounce and a wiggle in an otherwise smooth flight. Nothing to be done but to ride it out.”
I’m making a list of the loyal; the honest; and all of the courageous moments that were only moments when I was living through them. People often mistake endurance for courage, or survival for cunning.
At 4:00 in the morning the news ribbon was on every station: “Princess Diana dies in automobile accident.” It was August I think. Like waking up in a dream, no, like waking up in a strange place, I remember it took hours to adjust to the idea that the news was accurate and it wasn’t a dream.
I’m no DI-hard DI-fan, but it was an odd moment of imbalance. Kind of like now.
And it’s an uncomfortable feeling that lacks solidity; lacks security. Like floating too far out on a lake and not being sure you can make it back again. You can see where you entered the water in the distance, and an unexplored shore on the opposite side – it appears as though there might be a decision here.
I was so sure that if I only went back to bed, when I woke again the news would change; if I woke again, at the correct moment...
There is no right moment, and there's no decision. Not in this surrealistic post DI/tunnel world. Destiny took a detour and you're living in a story that never should have happened. Nothing is moving the way it should, and the last time society seemed really sure of anything was when we were marching for equality, drinking Coke and eating our cornflakes with a spoonful of pure cane sugar.
But the kids tend to kiss me more, and the dogs snuggle close; all of them loving me as hard as they can. As if their love will get me through it. Funny how they don’t need to understand anything about this flight to notice there’s a “rift in my force.” I know they're probably right. Instincts are generally right, aren't they?
It makes you wonder. The plane can fly smooth and level, straight into a mountainside too you know. That’s why you have to be specific.
But I’m trying to stay positive here. Just a bump and a wiggle, it will pass. Anyway, it's futile to try to anticipate when fate is on a holiday.
“Passengers, please fasten your seatbelts, we’re making our descent.”
Well, we've all got to land sometime.