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Greg Razran

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Member Since: Before 2003

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Ghandi 2000
by Greg Razran

Wednesday, August 13, 2003

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Recent poems by Greg Razran
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           >> View all 37

It's been a funky day:
Snapping id card pictures
For incoming freshmen, -
An eclectic mix: from Scandinavians to Long Islanders.
Most of the photos suck, though I try my best;
I blame it on the camera; lie about a faulty flash.
They want me to re-take it; 'No,' I say politely;
'Please come back in three years.'
A kid complains about his crooked image;
'Nothing I can do,' I shrug; 'Think of it as
being post-modern.' Now he's quiet.

And then it happens; Holy Molly!
A string of characters straight out of an SNL sketch:
A girl who transferred in from NYU hands me her license:
Her name is Passion Quick; I do a double-take, but the
Letters still stare at me; and so does she. 'Please put your
Feet in the taped blocks in front of the blue screen' I say;
And process her as fast as I can.

Just when I'm done choking with laughter, on the inside of course,
I'm a professional, mind you, I get another one.
His last name is Ghandi; I'm not shitting you; Ghandi.
As in Ghandi. You know, that Ghandi.
He looks like he's used to the blank stare, though;
He's cool about it, observing my amazement.
'Good Photo' he nods to me; 'Thanks.'

But the best came last; 3:28 pm; just before closing.
He wore a T-shirt that read: Hard Rock Cafe: Amsterdam.
His name was spelled out right on his SS card: Dipshit Krent.
Dipshit. Spelled just like this.
With all of my might, I kept a straight face through the whole thing;
Even offered to re-take his picture, to the dismay of the angry mob
Behind him.

That night, at home, I was unusually giddy; even after the daily Zoloft.
And then I thought of something; a headline I would pay to see:
'Ghandi's Encounter with Quick Passion Leaves him in Dipshit'.

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Reviewed by Sylvia Thompson 10/26/2006
WOW- publishing-perfect!!!!LOL,great stuff...still LOL.
Reviewed by Bhuwan Thapaliya 8/14/2003
Yes...This is very very good write....BHUWAN
Reviewed by Ron (sketchman) Axelson 8/13/2003
Hee, hee, must be a fun job with all the faces and names.
Reviewed by Lady Peg (Reader) 8/13/2003
This is very good and interesting.
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