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Member Since: Sep, 2007

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Sahara Sojourn
by Charlie
Rated "G" by the Author.
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My son's inner climate: 103 degrees


Forty-seven camels on a polka dot chest
Sahara skin
Sun-whipped skin
Dear God,
When will this sojourn end?
Forty-seven camels
Heavy chest expanding, gasping,
Straining breaths through coughs of air
Dear God,
Give Thou my son oases—
A palm
A balm
A shaded cairn
A sacred hand
An holy blessing—
Slighter beasts,
Lighter feet
Dear God,
Make Thou this sojourn fleet
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Reviewed by Christine Tsen
You sure know how to bring all poetic elements together, how to make the quintessential rhythm of a thing work!
I hope he's better now, and all's well in your home.
Love and prayers,
Reviewed by Axilea MU
What a journey: endless, exhausting, somewhere between a legendary walk and a real experience that sticks to one's skin. Love the way you played with words, meanings, cascading metaphors. A heartfelt prayer appears in the middle of the desert and it's such a soothing voice!

Lots of love to you and your family...

Reviewed by Kate Burnside
Brilliant petition and heart-rending mother's journey as well, Charlie. Love and many prayers for healing: reminds me muchly of the extended fever I experienced over the hottest summer here in the UK in 1990 - six weeks peaking 103-4 degrees! Delerium with worry and anxiety as much as illness but still the soul drinks deeply of the wells of faith. These stanzas are quite, quite beautiful:

Dear God,
Give Thou my son oases—
A palm
A balm
A shaded cairn

A sacred hand
An holy blessing—
Slighter beasts,
Lighter feet
Dear God,
Make Thou this sojourn fleet
Reviewed by Erin Kelly-Moen
Exceptional, Charlie! Scares me to death..

Erin Elizabeth Kelly-Moen
Reviewed by Cryssa C
love the metaphor... sad to hear that M is not feeling so well... hopefully he is feeling better now. :)
Love ya,
Reviewed by Ronald Hull
I assume you are writing about a fever based on the comment. If so, an excellent metaphor.

Reviewed by Felix Perry
The metahphorical poetry of this one is so well done...excellant.
Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
I hope your son feels better soon, Charlie; prayers! Well done!

(((HUGS))) and much love, your friend in Texas, Karen Lynn. :(
Reviewed by D. Vegas
Charlie, God Bless Your Son!

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton
Interesting colloquy. Pretty high on the thermometer scale.
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