It was around 2:30 a.m.
My bed was waiting
Telling me I was ready for dreaming
I wanted to resist the invitation
Stars were alive, the night was lovely
I wanted to embrace the night
To seize it in my mind
And leave the impression
Of tranquility in my thoughts
I was alone as usual
The humming night was there
Whispering the feeling of life
Telling me secrets beyond my understanding
I stood by the window looking up
Tears began to fall, wanting to weep
But I fought back the freedom to cry
Enough now I told my heart
But my spirit drew melancholic pictures
The art of my life, more of my feelings
Myself that hides when the sun is shining
Blending with the colors of others
In the busy streets of the city
Where people called humans live
Where they find and accept life
Like there are no choices
Perhaps choices are scarce in the city
Maybe life itself has little choices
Or choices are swamped in the entire ocean
People afraid to jump, swim, and discover
The choices in the ocean of life
While here I am wanting to dive
And search for things I haven’t got
Or things I never had
Or things I never knew
Or things I never believed
Or things I never understood
Or things I never lost
Or things I never found
Or things I never despised
Or things I never loved
Or things I never saw
Or things I never heard
Or things I never can have
All the choices I wanted
Are in the abyss of the ocean
Waiting for being like me
To catch them like the falling stars
Where they fall we don’t know
But we know they are there
Hiding in the forest of mystery
Waiting like the ocean to be uncovered
Like my life waiting to be known
My colors to be understood
The abstract to make sense
The madness of striking colors
Sharp to the eyes, seeping through the heart
And it bleeds, as it becomes the paint
To color the lives of others
To give life to another’s art
To define the work and become a masterpiece
To put a name and make it known
This is what my blood can do
To the artistry of life
The lives of those around my painting
The painting which carries my soul
Has the power to signify the wall behind it
The wall that divides the differences
We all have faultily created
The same wall we want to crash down
With our own fragile hands
Yet the wall was built with foundation
That overwhelms the humanity and soul
Not even religion and faith can put down
The wall humans created
And we pray that one day
The wall will bring down its defenses
And break itself apart
Like a person breaking away from her own chains
One day we pray this happens
The mighty wall to get tired
And rest for eternity
And rest the great divide
That segregated dreams from reality
Or that confused truth from myth
Life is both myth and truth
And the wall after the destruction
Will never know
Which is which
Who is who
What is what
Jargons will change
And meanings be meaningless
And dreams no longer dream
The impossible no more…

And then my eyes blinked
And saw the lights down where I stood
And found that around me are walls
I the painting on each wall
Of life and life
Of death and death
Of love and love
If I took away the painting
The walls will be bare
Ominously empty
And something else takes it place
And the wall finds it refuge
Once again.

If nothing is made something
Then there will be something
That can be nothing
And nothing is the answer
To take away the something of life
Can we have nothing
To remove something
Like remove hurt from the pain
Or remove bleeding from the blood
Or remove death from life
Or remove life from death
Or nothing cannot be something
Therefore nothing is nothing
In this life full of something.

Nothing does matter anymore.

And I went to bed
My spirit tired
I closed my eyes
And welcomed dream

Where nothing doesn’t matter.