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My Two Sisters and I; Remembering The Abuse
by xxx x xxxxxx

Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Rated "PG13" by the Author.
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Recent poems by xxx x xxxxxx
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My father, we know now, suffered from Manic Depression. He was not diagnosed with this disease. We lived in a very small town, filled with elderly people--Doctors were too busy handing out pain killers and sleeping pills; the majority of the people didn’t need them. So we lived our life in fear, as many people do

We never knew, when dad would explode
You couldn’t tell it in his eyes
The beating, the kicking--just another episode--
In our sorry lives; the pain you could not disguise.

I remember praying, while lying in my bed
That God would take me that night
That way I could punish him; couldn’t handle another fight
Did not want to deal with this; death would be such bliss.

The following day he was apologetic
He hugged and kissed us so tender
How could this man even love us, after he beat us into surrender
We were scared of his temper
We dared not make a sound; couldn’t take another round.

Mother made excuses for him
Said that daddy was sick--he couldn’t help it
How could she forgive this man?
He beat her girls, hiding in the closet; defended his outbursts
We were filled with shame; now we know we were not the blame.

Daddy is gone now, and Mother has Alzheimers
Has no recollection of what happened--her past has disappeared
Along with the memories and fear, she feels no anguish or pain
Thoughts of the tragedy she’ll never regain.
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