Dorothy Parker doesn't know guys.

“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses”
Humorist Dorothy Parker notably said.

Bosh! Guys’ll make passes at any girl dead or alive!

Sexperts at porn sites love girls wearing specs
Librarians ‘n profs ‘n nurses, all sorts of nearsighted fems.

They prefer them to Jenna or Shyla
They like them single and they like them in pairs.

Some say guys won’t moves on girls o’er two-ninety
But Rembrandt and Rubins preferred them large and hefty

Balderdash! Guys won’t scorn Kristie Alley for a roll in the hay
And’ll definitely do Oprah any old day.

Some claim flat-chested women the boys they sure hate
But there’s Goldie Hawn and her daughter Kate.

Ugly women often beg for a date, but when the hour’s late
and the drinks accumulate.

Guys ain’t that choosey
Margaret Rutherford’ll do or even Moms Mabley

When horny, a guy'll mount a knothole and not even mind
He’ll spend a fortune for a mail order bride, the rubber kind

At $79.95 she’s cheap at twice the price.
She won’t talk back, and she washes up nice.

No, a guy’s not fussy a girl should know,
Just give him time, and he’ll give you a go. 

Dave Schwinghammer's novel, SOLDIER'S GAP, is available on Amazon.com, new and used.