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David A. Schwinghammer

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Member Since: Dec, 2007

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Books
· Soldier's Gap


Short Stories
· Mengele's Double, Chapter 9

· Seminary Boy, a memoir

· Fisher of Men, Chapter Nine

· Soldier's Gap, Chapter Three

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Nine

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 8

· Honest Thief, Tender Murderer, Chapter Eight

· Mengele's Double, Chapter Eight

· Bereavement Blues

· Fisher of Men, Chapter 7


Articles
· A Beautiful Mind, book review

· Another Planet, book review

· The Three Stooges, book review

· The God Particle

· Empire of Sin, book review

· Science at the Edge, book review

· Obama, a Modern Caesar?

· Americans Need to Pull Together

· Voices of the French Revolution, book review

· Great American Scandals


Poetry
· Fashion

· Widow's Peak

· Myth

· Alumni Game

· Stradivarius

· Snow-a-holic

· The Do Drop Inn

· Ode to Neve Campbell

· Jacks or Better 101

· Never My Love

         More poetry...

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  Girls Who Wear Glasses
by David A. Schwinghammer
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Recent poems by David A. Schwinghammer
•  Fashion
•  Widow's Peak
•  Myth
•  Alumni Game
•  The Do Drop Inn
           >> View all 12


Dorothy Parker doesn't know guys.


“Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses”
Humorist Dorothy Parker notably said.

Bosh! Guys’ll make passes at any girl dead or alive!

Sexperts at porn sites love girls wearing specs
Librarians ‘n profs ‘n nurses, all sorts of nearsighted fems.

They prefer them to Jenna or Shyla
They like them single and they like them in pairs.

Some say guys won’t moves on girls o’er two-ninety
But Rembrandt and Rubins preferred them large and hefty

Balderdash! Guys won’t scorn Kristie Alley for a roll in the hay
And’ll definitely do Oprah any old day.

Some claim flat-chested women the boys they sure hate
But there’s Goldie Hawn and her daughter Kate.

Ugly women often beg for a date, but when the hour’s late
and the drinks accumulate.

Guys ain’t that choosey
Margaret Rutherford’ll do or even Moms Mabley

When horny, a guy'll mount a knothole and not even mind
He’ll spend a fortune for a mail order bride, the rubber kind

At $79.95 she’s cheap at twice the price.
She won’t talk back, and she washes up nice.

No, a guy’s not fussy a girl should know,
Just give him time, and he’ll give you a go. 

Dave Schwinghammer's novel, SOLDIER'S GAP, is available on Amazon.com, new and used. 

Mystery Writer


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Reviewed by Lily of Lough Neagh C. Dennis-Woosley 4/22/2012
I am so laughing! I was called four eyes all through school being one who grew up in the 50's to 60's era. Those lovely cat glasses. Trust me, no soul was making a pass at me! But what a marvelous poem! Left me with many smiles
Reviewed by Sandi Schraut 9/24/2011
Oh my goodness! Well as a mom to 3 sons I reluctantly admit what you say may have some valid points. I do tell my middle son that quality is more important than quantity, to no avail! I wish it were different! Great insight!
Reviewed by Regis Schilken 7/26/2011
You are right about one thing; men will make passes--'tis the nature of the beast even when one gets as old as I.

rge schilken
Reviewed by Robert Cosmar 5/31/2011
This is so amusing ... and true, David. Those were the good ol' days, ah yes, an interesting write and such fun to read.
Robert
Reviewed by JMS Bell 5/31/2011
WELL WRITTEN AND I WOULD THINK THAT A GUY DOESN'T HAVE TO BE 'HORNY' TO MAKE A WISE CHOICE...JUST UN-NARROW MINDED...AND FULL OF GOD'S VOICE. GOOD RHYME AND RHYTHM. THANKS FOR SHARING. LOVE, BLESSINGS AND FAITH...JOYCE * HIS INSPIRATIONS

Books by
David A. Schwinghammer



Soldier's Gap

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