Myself
by, Melissa R. Mendelson

I have been trapped within myself,
but my shell is breaking.
I can step away from myself
and see my life with clarity.
As I stare at the destruction before me,
I fight the urge to run and hide.
I bow my head
because my bitter words
and my wrong choices
had brought my world down
onto its knees.
I pick up a photo of a man
and hold it to my chest
as my heart sobs in silence.
I remember the people
that I turned away.
I remember the people
that I wanted to see me
for who I am
not what I should be.
I was wrong for the way I behaved.
I was wrong for how I treat others.
I should have treated them with respect,
so they would respect me.
I don’t respect me.
I don’t know who I am.
I have buried myself
so deep into this body
that I have suffocated myself
and become a child,
who can’t stand on her own.
I fold this picture in my hands
and turn to my skin,
shedding layers of regret away
and throwing my dead flesh into the fire
of a life now awaken.
I must salvage what is left
because my time may end,
and I want something left behind
for you to remember that I was here.
I don’t want to disappear
because then my life would have been wasted.
I want to be remembered,
so I can see 
myself released and realized,
living a dream.