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A Childhood of Emotional and Mental Abuse
by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado
Monday, August 26, 2002
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I am feeling sad right now. Why, you ask.
I was emotionally attacked by a stranger.
She reviewed one of my stories, gave it a One.
Said some nasty things, too, and hurt me much.
I have never felt so hurt like I do right now,
I am feeling worthless, and I'm feelin' abused.
It's bad enough that when I was a child,
That I WAS abused, mentally and emotionally.
Not by my parents, mind you, but by two sisters.
They thought it was great fun to inflict pain on me
And tease me about different things, then laugh.
Their problem was, they never knew when to quit!
They teased me about my music, and of my art,
Said that I was stupid, and that I was worthless.
It didn't help that I was born learning disabled
And also had problems due to being born early.
I saw myself as ugly and worthless, stupid, too,
I didn't think very much of myself, still don't.
Besides the abuse at home, I also got it at school
From all of the other kids, they teased me, too.
Nothing was done to stop this, the constant abuse.
I should have told my father, and my mother, too.
But, you see, I couldn't: dad worked many hours,
And I couldn't tell mom, for she was often sick.
So I kept the pain inside, couldn't tell them a thing,
That it was my two older sisters who did the abuse.
I was afraid of hurting them, but now know it today,
That I made the mistake by not telling them of this.
I still live with the pain of this emotional abuse;
You can't see the scars, but trust me, they're there.
They are hidden inside my heart, and in my eyes.
Look at me, and you will see the pain inside.
I am normally a happy person, I keep this hidden,
Not many know of what I have had to endure.
I was abused, and I am a survivor of this abuse;
But I wonder why I didn't tell my parents about it.
Maybe, if I did, I wouldn't hurt so bad today,
But because of the abuse I still don't get along
With my two older sisters, the cause of my grief.
Why, is all I ask, did they get away with it???
Did they enjoy making my life a living hell,
Teasing me until all I could do was cry?
How would they have liked it, if I did this to THEM?
What would they say if they'd been in MY shoes??
I didn't do anything to them to deserve this abuse,
And I wonder if they were ashamed of Karla and I.
Is it because we weren't gifted like them? WHY??
Was it because we were born handicapped????
To Kathy and to Kitty, my two older sisters. I hope you are happy with what you have done to Karla and me. We have forgiven you, but WE CAN'T FORGET. NOW IT IS YOUR TURN TO APOLOGIZE TO US FOR HOW YOU TREATED US. |
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| Reviewed by Lily of Lough Neagh C. Dennis-Woosley |
12/13/2012 |
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This is heart-wrenching and I completely
understand, you would have to read my
stories darlin' "The Gift" we are all a
gift...
Love and Light
Lily |
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| Reviewed by Joanna Leone |
12/29/2008 |
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| As I read about the pain that you endured by your older sisters, the one thing that I want to mention is that you truly are gifted. You are a beautiful and talented writer. Sometimes people are cruel because of their own insecurities and perhaps even jealousy. It was horrible that your older sisters abused you and teased you relentlessly, but the one thing is for sure, your beauty as a person and a talented writer is something that no one can ever take from you. You see, as a talented writer, no one can erase your talent. That is always your gift, and the fact that you have shared your writing with the world is also a special gift to us. I hope that you have found peace, tranquility and love in your life. Sometimes people who have been abused emotionally, mentally, or physically often times end up in abusive relationships later in life. It is a cycle that is repeated. My wish for you is that you have found love, and to be honest with you, I hope your sisters have realized the pain and damage that they have done. By the way, I have noticed at the end of your poem that you have asked for an apology. Did you ever receive an apology? Did your sisters read your poem and respond to you? I am wondering about this. |
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| Reviewed by Linda Settles |
12/19/2008 |
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Dear Karen,
Your poem is filled with emotion and truth--the truth is abuse hurts. No matter where it comes from--it has a devastating effect on its victim. I am so sorry that you went through so much. I am writing a compantion workbook to go with my book: Redeeming Our Treasures/Finding Joy in the Shadows of an Abusive Past, and one of the dysfunctions I write about is families allowing siblings to torment the others. I know your parents didn't know what you were going through--I wish they had. From your poem, it sound like they would have put an end to it. God bless you as you move on through life.
Love,
Linda |
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| Reviewed by Stuart McCallum |
7/20/2008 |
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Hi Karen,
I have just read your poem titled: A Childhood of Mental and Emotional Abuse, and it really touched me. By writing this beautiful, heartfelt poem you have proved to yourself and everyone who is fortunate to read it--you Karen, are stronger than your sisters will ever be. Take good care, Stuart |
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| Reviewed by Elizabeth Price |
5/30/2007 |
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| Ugh, I don't get along with my older sister because what ever she did was okay with my mother. I avoided her like the plague to avoid the conflict that my mother would just endorse. So telling your mother and father. I'm sure they knew it was going on in the first place. I'm sorry for your abuse. No one deserves it. Excellent poem. Liz |
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| Reviewed by Sandra Ferrara Gentry |
5/16/2007 |
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Sibling abuse is harsh. I was the only girl of four kids. Second oldest. I grew up in an "old school" Italian family in Newark New Jersey. I know personally of what you write. I was also an abused spouse. i have since left him and remarried to a wonderful man. I am all over my daughters about name calling, taunting and teasing. I ask them, "How would you feel if she did that to you?" it usually makes them back down and I make sure an apology follows. Kudos to you, for allowing it to make you a better writer!
Sandi |
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| Reviewed by Demy Fig |
3/1/2007 |
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this poem has been haunting me [in a good way].
i was wondering if i would be able to get a biography because my english teacher wanted me to do an paper and project on a poem that really just provoked emotions and thoughts.
and a part of the project is a biography.
if you are willing to help me, feel free to either contact me by my aim messanger, or myspace.
my myspace: www.myspace.com/nonamdgirl
my aim: ilyDemyMariaX3
thank you so much.
and i am fascinated by your poem. |
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| Reviewed by Tactfully Naive |
12/22/2006 |
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Mental abuse shrinks you in a way that physical abuse doesn't. Your ego, esteem, confidence, intuition, intellect, zeal, motivation, happiness, ambition, goals, and so forth are all shrunk. We are compressed into an incredibly tight, sealed ball waiting for years to burst. I was in my forties before I finally gave up the wasted years of the past. I could not allow this waste to waste my future.
Thanks for bearing your soul and for showing shining grace. I hope since this work of reflection was written that your sisters have found it within their troubled hearts to apologise. Along with your forgiveness, it is the only way that they can feel total release. |
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| Reviewed by alejapoet@aol.com Bennett |
10/6/2006 |
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| Wow it saddens me that people are so cruel in the world but you are doing the right thing by writing the pain and hurt down. We must move on and bury the past. |
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| Reviewed by richard poor |
8/5/2006 |
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| that which does not kill us,makes us stronger,as you show in this fine piece here! |
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| Reviewed by Pamela garner |
6/12/2005 |
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| what beautiful work. it is tragic to be treated that way. but it helps to talk or write about. God Bless, Pamela |
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| Reviewed by Sandra Corona |
11/10/2003 |
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Abuse of any sort stays deep inside. Sharing it helps get it out of our body but nothing makes the memories go away.
Powerful write my friend :).
Love :)Sandy |
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| Reviewed by Kay P Devenish |
8/26/2002 |
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It is a very sad thing indeed when the strong crush the weaker and even sadder when it is your own family members who do it as was the case with you...(I am constantly reminded of how blessed I am compared to so many others as all my family were kind and loving) but even though I can't relate to it first hand I do empathise with you and with your pain and my heart goes out to you all I can advise is that you let any resentment to them go and don't try or expect them to be sorry as you may waste your life waiting for it and never get it and that is time you should spend having fun and looking towards happy things...walk away from that sad past let it go... bury it and feel sorry for anyone who can only be happy by hurting others as they are very sick people and should be avoided for your own healths sake.Think beautiful thoughts and reach a better life,write and believe in yourself always.Things will improve for you but let go of the pain...kick it away!
Love from
Kay |
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| Reviewed by Karen Lynn Vidra, The Texas Tornado |
8/26/2002 |
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| {{{{{karen}}}}} so sad...i know the pain of which you speak...i'm sorry you had to go through this...i hope i don't cause you pain. if i ever have, forgive me...i'm glad you're in texas with me, and i love you so much! :) never let them get you down...you can do anything you want, disabilities be damned. i'm behind you 1000 percent...(((HUGS))) and love, karla. :) i'm also glad that you're my twinkie! :) |
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| Reviewed by Sailor Neptune |
8/26/2002 |
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So sorry cruelity can be so harsh,
and only time heals and I want you to know i care.
Sorry Peggy |
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