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Lori S. Maynard

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Books by Lori S. Maynard
  How did I get this Lonely?
by Lori S. Maynard
Monday, March 28, 2005
Rated "PG" by the Author.

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Recent poems by Lori S. Maynard
•  Columbines at Christmas
•  Independence (1999)
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•  I Wanna Live Life Again
•  My Crystal ball sees only the Past
           >> View all 121

I wrote this after looking through some old pictures that I had found yesterday...

The old photos seem so unfamiliar
Hard to convince myself I was there...
Destinations and people Iíve never seen again...
Pictures taken well before all of the pain...

Relationships now broken and through
remain photographed as though renewed.
Smiling faces and hearts still unscathed
to what future despair would be made.

How do you grow to become this alone
That the thought of calling ghosts on the phone
makes your heart jump despite the cost?
How can you find whatís been lost?

I stared at them for quite some time...
Pictures of a life that once was mine...
Was I smart in leaving him back then?
Why am I plagued now with thoughts of When?

Iím so lonely...the pain ebbs and flows
like a turbulent gale, it forever grows.
How can I find again what I never had?
Has loneliness finally driven me mad?

How do you live to become this alone
I wish for one good man, just to hold
and soothe to sleep in a sweet lullaby
and become another faded photograph, he and I

I put the pictures back inside that box
and try to recover my soul from its shock
of knowing that I shall forever be alone...
Iíve prepared myself to always roam

in the background of otherís hearts and dreams
and become only a bit player in lifeís great scenes.
Iím too lonely - Iím barely hanging on...
How can this be? What have I done?

Iíve put my heart away in traction
always hoping to receive some action
but no one seems interested in my empty soul
no oneís chased away that feeling of Alone.

If you want to leave me, then leave me -
if you stay, youíll have your fantasy...
But, I can never make you care for real
thatís just something for you to conceal

Weíve had our share of hurt and mistrust.
My heartís still beating, but full of rust.
How did I live to become so lonely?
How can I live without you inside of me?

Inside of my heart and inside of my dreams...
Ah! What I wouldnít give to feel relief
from this shadow that now has settled within...
Silly heart, stop looking for him.

The old photos seem so unfamiliar
Hard to convince myself I was there...
Destinations and people Iíve never seen again...
Pictures taken well before all of the pain...

©March 27, 2005 Lori S. Maynard
A brief five minute write

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Reviewed by Lois Christensen
I am with you all the way in this aloneness poem. Feel so alone most of the time now that Tom is in heaven and I have to go things alone, do things alone,and take time out for myself even alone. We have the holy spirit in us, so that keeps us sane.
Reviewed by Hanley Harding
Dear Lori;

This an interesting and touching poem.

Reviewed by Felix Perry
Faded photographs and old love letters I think are the hardest thing to rid ourselves of because like the feelings we once shared they stir the emotions of when we once cared. Take heart sweet Lori, you are still young and your heart has more love to share and your box of pictures will be added to before long. Wonderful capture Lori.

Reviewed by Dave Harm
Great poem... old photos bring feelings of being cheated and deceived... sometimes, memories best forgotten
Reviewed by Karla Dorman, The StormSpinner

All this in five minutes? WOW!

Much emotion contained in your snapshot of powerful words--poignantly read by this reader, who understands this allllll too well. Excellent write!

(((HUGS))) and love, Karla. :(
Reviewed by John Bidwell
This certainly reminds me of my poem "Snap Shot."
Same feelings linger like a dark cloud over everything.
Loved it anyway.
Reviewed by Andy Turner (Reader)
LOL. This is just poetry? Seeing your bio. And such looks, Love of life.
Every other bloke you meet, must want to date you..
Cool write for those who are in such a challenge..
Reviewed by - - - - - TRASK
Hopefully So You Will find Yourself!

Reviewed by Jerry Bolton (Reader)
Oh, boy, that old nostalgia scene up and grabs you by the . . . Plus the awful problem of having someone near that isn't really near. A two-edged sword of loneliness. Sigh. Great poem!
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