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Kalikiano Kalei

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Member Since: Jan, 2008

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· U S Chemical and Biological Defense Respirators

Short Stories
· Saddam's Toilet, Part 3

· Saddam's Toilet, Part 2

· Zipping Flies with Papa Hemingway

· Searching For Haumea...

· Farewell to Sherlockville

· Down in the Valley--Chapter 1

· First Class, or Guaranteed Delivery?

· The Fruitcake King of Riyadh

· Maile and the Little Green Menehune

· The First (Near) Ascent of Heartbreak Hill

· German Wartime Ejection Seat Developments

· Luftwaffe Air-Evacuation in WW2

· Creating an authentic 2WK Luftwaffe Aircrewman Impression

· The Luftwaffe 2WK Aviation Watches

· German aviator breathing systems in the 2WK

· Ritter der Lüfte: Chivalry in 2WK aerial combat

· War From the German Perspective: A Matter of Differential History

· Recreating Luftwaffe WW2 History

· Film Review: Final Approach (1991)

· Cafe Racing of the 60s: Rockers, Ton-up Boys and the 59 Club

· If women had udders...!

· Five Up, One Down...

· More dirty climbing limericks

· First ascent of Broad Peak!

· Sawtooth Haiku

· Somewhere in my sleep

· The soundless temple bell

· Hearts and minds

· Rabbit gazing at full moon

· Koto-kaze

         More poetry...
· Local Writer Not Slated to Receive Steinbeck Foundation Recognition

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Books by Kalikiano Kalei
  Da Wizzuda Woids
by Kalikiano Kalei
Tuesday, February 05, 2008
Not rated by the Author.

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Recent poems by Kalikiano Kalei
•  If women had udders...!
•  Of Rose, as sunset floods the room at dusk
•  Five Up, One Down...
•  More dirty climbing limericks
•  First ascent of Broad Peak!
           >> View all 59

As a person who has long favored the sport of synchronised syntax swimming for most of my addled life, an interest in colloquial slang and 'pidgin' dialects just developed naturally. The following spontaneously came to life after a friend once asked me about one of my journalism mentors who used words as an obfuscative shield to hide behind, thus protecting his real (and only modestly talented) self from being revealed in all its pedestrian desultoriness. Whoda thunkit?! (PS: For some background on the real 'Wizzud', check out my blog entry titled 'Da Arda Gud Ritin').

Da Wizuda Woids


Dere once wuzza Wizud

Who dabbled in woids,

He slottahed his nouns

An’e moidered his voibs.


His knowledge wuz small

Butiz bullshit wuz great

An’e moidered da language

All ovah da place!


Dis wizud blew smoke

Lik ‘is pans wuz afire,

An da lengt ovis phrases

Wuzza ting ta desire.


Dat is until wun day

Wen sumwun got bright

And figgered his game out,

Thus endin’ is plight!

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Reviewed by Kathy Armijo
Dis wuz mos nlitng. Too full of one's self makes for a really, really small circle of friends.

God bless you. Kathy
Reviewed by Andre Bendavi ben-YEHU

Outstanding historic-social linguistic lesson... "Da Wizzuda Woids" shines.

In admiration,

Andre Emmanuel Bendavi ben-YEHU
Reviewed by Axilea MU
Apart from being very funny, your wizard makes me think of someone I met in another life. Oh how I ran for my (new)life! Narcissistic shields are very tricky and their bullshit (idealized self) can do anything to cover their underdeveloped, shame-ridden, true self.

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