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Kalikiano Kalei

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Member Since: Jan, 2008

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· U S Chemical and Biological Defense Respirators

Short Stories
· Saddam's Toilet, Part 3

· Saddam's Toilet, Part 2

· Zipping Flies with Papa Hemingway

· Searching For Haumea...

· Farewell to Sherlockville

· Down in the Valley--Chapter 1

· First Class, or Guaranteed Delivery?

· The Fruitcake King of Riyadh

· Maile and the Little Green Menehune

· The First (Near) Ascent of Heartbreak Hill

· German Wartime Ejection Seat Developments

· Luftwaffe Air-Evacuation in WW2

· Creating an authentic 2WK Luftwaffe Aircrewman Impression

· The Luftwaffe 2WK Aviation Watches

· German aviator breathing systems in the 2WK

· Ritter der Lüfte: Chivalry in 2WK aerial combat

· War From the German Perspective: A Matter of Differential History

· Recreating Luftwaffe WW2 History

· Film Review: Final Approach (1991)

· Cafe Racing of the 60s: Rockers, Ton-up Boys and the 59 Club

· If women had udders...!

· Five Up, One Down...

· More dirty climbing limericks

· First ascent of Broad Peak!

· Sawtooth Haiku

· Somewhere in my sleep

· The soundless temple bell

· Hearts and minds

· Rabbit gazing at full moon

· Koto-kaze

         More poetry...
· Local Writer Not Slated to Receive Steinbeck Foundation Recognition

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Books by Kalikiano Kalei
  Le Petite Ballet de Dauguey Dieu
by Kalikiano Kalei
Monday, February 11, 2008
Not rated by the Author.

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Recent poems by Kalikiano Kalei
•  If women had udders...!
•  Of Rose, as sunset floods the room at dusk
•  Five Up, One Down...
•  More dirty climbing limericks
•  First ascent of Broad Peak!
           >> View all 59

Each day I accompany my furry companions on their outtings to the local park. As most of you know, dogs will not usually relieve themselves without some sort of strong odoriferous stimulus--usually the scent of something deleriously dead, delightfully rotten, or deliciously faecal. It's a never-ending round of amusing moments as we search the park high and low for just that singular scent that will open the gates of canine effluent wide, leaving a small gift for some subsequent unwary (and perfectly undeserving) soul to step in. The movements and body mechanics of my dogs as they perform this daily activity are so amusingly ritualised that it almost seems like a dance (of sorts) that is not to be missed.


Le Petite Ballet
de Dauguey Dieu




Oh sniffing, snuffling, doggie nose

In search of scented clues you goes,

With rapt attention to your task,

Your baptismal rite so apropos!


No odor sweet and pure will do,

Nor ordinary, this pile of poos;

The smell must be extraordinaire

To make the doggy bowels go loose.


From smell to smell you slowly pose,

To search for worthy things to hose,

And when just right, with hind leg lift’,

The golden stream just flows and flows.


How delicate and choreographed

This canine dance upon the path,

You have, it seems, a firm resolve,

To give each flower a yellow bath.


And then, the piece de resistance true !

A humongeous dump of faecal goo,

You leave that doggy mother-lode,

For someone else to say, Oh, PHEW!”




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Reviewed by Amor Sabor
Disgusting!!! You are hilarious. Excellent work.
Reviewed by E T Waldron
I say Oh Phew! but the poem was a canine gem;-)ET
How wonderfully endearing, such a blessed event,the nose hold deep memories and you shared them well, enjoyed much, obviously some don't pick up after their dog, so as not to spoil the efficacy of that profound act, how thoughtful of you to bring us such joy of reading it ha, Blessings! Jasmin Horst
Reviewed by Rebecca Lerwill
LOL, doggone, that's cute!
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